Monday, March 30, 2009

Magic 101 Heat 95

6 Thoughts

1) Close, entertaining game, ending in a loss at home to one of the best teams in the league on Alonzo Mourning Jersey Retirement Night. Now 8 games left, Heat at 39-35. Still clinging to the 5th playoff spot and a potential first round date with Atlanta.

2) Wade with a somewhat ragged 42 - it took him 34 shots. Averaging just around 30 points a game, leads LeBron James by about a point and a half. Wade is probably going to win his first scoring title. That doesn't really mean anything - but it is fun to watch a guy pour in 2200 or so points through 73 games.

3) Zo's jersey was raised to the rafters at halftime. Highlights of the approximately 3.5 hour ceremony: fat Pat Ewing; Georgetown coach John Thompson's hurried speech - apparently he had somewhere else to be; and Zo's tears. Also, the size of the jersey that actually was raised to the rafters - it was about 10 feet tall. I have seen a million retired jerseys in a million arenas - it never occured to me that they were giant jerseys, I just thought they were normal sized. Who knew?

4) Even better than the ceremony, though - the in-game 3rd quarter on-air interview with Zo's teenage AAU coach, Virgina basketball legend Boo Williams. Boo apparently attended Shawn Marion's School of Non-Elocution, plus he is approximately 100 years old - I didn't understand a word the guy said. When Heat play by play announcer Eric Reid asked him if he had any up and coming players on his current AAU team, I am pretty sure he said "Dave Matthews," who is, you know, from Virginia. Hike your skirt up a little more, Boo Williams, and show the world to me...

5) Even on Zo's night, the highlight, for me, was that backup "point guard," and dribbling fanatic, Luther Head, somehow, broke his hand, and is out four to six weeks - that is likely the rest of the year for Miami, which is unlikely to extend its season past the first round of the playoffs. In fact, I will gladly lose in the first round just so I don't have to watch Luther Head play again this season. That means DWade will handle the ball more than ever, Daequan Cook will be force fed some minutes, and maybe even The Captain favorite Chris Quinn will see the light of day.

6) Worth mentioning on Zo night that M.Minutos and I came up together in our early 20s spending many, many a night watching Zo in the mid and late 90s. It was a pleasure, just us two kids -and Zo - against the world. It was simpler times: the economy was solid, we weren't fighting irrational wars all over the globe, and gas was a nickel a gallon. On a personal level, we didn't have children yet, and so we had loads of discretionary time and income. We, happily, spent a good portion of both of those on Zo's Heat squads...and, copious, copious amounts of cocaine...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Heat 102 Bucks 85

Whoops, got a little excited there...

6 Thoughts

1) Just what the Heat needed, a bad team at home. Now 39-34, 9 games left, a game up on Philly for the 5th spot. The Heat are probably in the playoffs - that is amazing - now just trying to stay up in 5th. But whether they do or not, this season has been a very pleasant surprise.

2) Udonis Haslem has regained the shooting stroke over the past week and a half, 8-9 tonight for 16 points, 12 boards. He is shooting 68% over his past 5. The back is probably feeling better. Udonis is a warrior - this is his time of year. Never scared to take a big spot up jumper.

3) Daequan Cook has gone to the time-honored symbolic gesture indicative of trying to find oneself (and one's lost shooting touch): the beard. To be honest, it is more of a white guy thing, where the list of those who have utilized this tactic is long and distinguished. White guys who have used this technique, with varying degrees of success: Luke Skywalker; all the 90210 guys, post-90210; Al Gore; Eddie, from Eddie and the Cruisers, after he faked his own death; Jack on Lost; Bill Murray; Ben Affleck; and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook ("It wasn't over when you left, you know..." "It's still not over!" F-yeah, Ryan Gosling!!!). Also, Joaquim Phoenix. Also, one guy who should try it, just to change up the karma: Tony Romo. Daequan's is bushy, but shaved low to the jawline, Amish style - sweet. Made 2-4 threes in 14 minutes, so it may be working. We'll follow this closely.

4) Second year Bucks point guard Ramon Sessions claims his name is "Ramon," rhyming with "Come on." Yeah, right. Where I come from, that's "Ramone," like "a bone." Also, denies his middle name is "Crapo."

5) Former Heat point guard Damon Jones is finishing up his career at the end of the Bucks bench. Appears somewhere between 10 and 40 pounds overweight. Checked in near the end of the game in garbage time and immediately launched an airball three pointer that missed the basket by approximately 7 feet. "Damon looks out of shape to me," Eric Reid told Tony Fiorentino with concern.

6) Finally, from The Captain, the obligatory:

I am very familiar with Mike Crapo, Congressman from from Idaho. I worked on his campaign and fell in love with his secretary, Anita Bidet.

See you on Monday, everybody, home against Orlando, for Alonzo Mourning Jersey Retirement Night; or, as it known in Plumber's house, "9-11."

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bulls 106 Heat 87

6 Thoughts

1) Blown out - way out - against the Bulls. Let's get through this quickly because there is some late breaking news on the Mike Crapo story down at # 6.

2) Heat now 38-34, ten games left. Tied with the Sixers for the 5th spot. The 5th spot plays Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs. Fall to 6th and it is Boston or Orlando. That's tough - but a spot anywhere in the playoffs has to be looked at as a huge accomplishment for this team. And, realistically, they aren't beating Atlanta, either - they are the team that gives Wade the most trouble right now.

3) Midseason additions to the lineup Luther Head and James Jones are both playing absolutely brutal basketball right now, and have been since they arrived. Daequan Cook has disappeared. The bench is struggling - someone needs to get going. Somehow it has to be Cook, who was scoreless tonight in 10 quiet minutes.

4) Bulls looking big, athletic and frisky. Signs of life from Joakim Noah and Ty Thomas, and the addition of Brad Miller makes them bigger, and a better passing team. By winning, they moved into 7th place, past Detroit. It looks like the 8 playoff teams in the East are set: Cleveland, Orlando, Boston, Atlanta, Philly, Miami, Chicago, and Detroit. Would take a big collapse and a late rush from a bad team to change that.

5) Michael Jordan's son Marcus Jordan was honored at halftime as part of his Illinois State Basketball Championship team. Led us to wonder at Dos Hacienda what the chances are he even knows Michael Jordan. "I don't know, but if he does, he probably hates him," guessed M.Minutos, who finds Jordan unbearable.

6) Okay, so here goes. Received an email from a reader claiming that Idaho Senator Mike Crapo's name is actually pronounced "cray-poe," not "crappo." Tough not to notice, though, that the email address was mcstinky@idaho.state.gov. I smell something amiss. I mean, there is really a foul stench around this entire situation. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that no matter what this emailer says, it's "crappo." .....

"Does anyone have any further questions for the panel? Senator Crapo? No? Well, then, that concludes this joint sub-committee hearing on 'Fecal Matter and its Potential as an Alternative Fuel.' Thank you to our senators, and our guests - with some of this information we have heard here tonight, whew - I really feel like a load has been lifted off of my mind...I'll see you all back here tomorrow when we investigate the link between anal fissures and the low retention rate in the military. Until then..."

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pacers 90 Heat 88

6 Thoughts

1) Like every other game since the advent of fire, Miami lost in Indiana. That's eighteen straight losses in the Hoosier state. You know the "I hate what they did to me" syndrome? Like, you don't offer to renew marginal backup point guard Keyon Dooling's contract, then he comes back the next season with another team and plays his best game of the year against you because he hates what you did to him? That should have been Jermaine O'Neal tonight, a former longtime Pacer. Instead: "Oh, playing in Indiana was the best time of my life," gushed Jermaino. Dammit. The jinx even got to Wade, who played arguably his worst game of the year, a positively Iversonian 5-23, and a missed three at the buzzer which spun in and out. Now 38-33, game tomorrow in Chicago. The last two games against the Bulls have been the Shawn Marion swan-song-buzzer-dunk-for-the-win game, and the triple overtime Dwyane Wade steal-and-running-three-pointer-at-the-buzzer-for-the-win game. I'm sure the Bulls hate what we have done to them...

2) In the same interview, Jermaino asserted that his former Pacer coach, and noted franchise killer, Isaiah Thomas, is "one of the top 6 guys in my life." Really? Isaiah Thomas? Is that a good idea? This guy has been a colossal failure at every post-playing career basketball job he has ever had - like, really bad. Like, "oops, I just became commissioner of the CBA and bankrupted the entire league" bad...The other top 5 guys in Jermaino's life? Actor Tom Sizemore, former Alabama governor George Wallace, one of the guys from Enron, Will.I.Am, and William Ayres (when he was still a terrorist).

3) Midway through the second quarter, Pacer forward Danny Granger caught a ball out on the perimeter, lowered his head, and rushed for the basket...Enter El Rookie, The Beaz Markie, Be-Easy-Michael-Beasley who slid across the lane, and thrust himself in front of Granger for a big collision just a fraction of a second too late to draw an offensive foul - and got the call! First charge of the year drawn by Mike, in his 71st game (minus one when his dog gave him the flu), and approximately his 400th attempt. Got up smiling like he just won the Superbowl, as the bench erupted in laughter and congratulations. Before he even hit the deck, Eric Reid pointed out it was the first charge Beasley had drawn this year. "Eric, I think it might be the first charge he has drawn in his life," guessed Tony Fiorentino.

4) Quick bagpipe music update: on an extremely rare Walmart trip this evening with O. and P. Minutos, I came face-to-face with a cheesy cd display, the kind with a lot of ambient music, where you can touch the screen to hear samples. "New!" read a sign, "Scotland's Finest Pipe and Drum Music." A surge of electricity jolted my body - we played the sample, it was Amazing Grace, a classic bagpipe lament. Two problems - first, the sample was very short, I didn't get to hear any drums, just the beginning of the song with bagpipers only. I assume that the snares kicked in hard and sharp, but since I didn't hear them, how do I know other instruments didn't come in as well and ruin the song? If you recall, that's what happened a couple of weeks ago in what I like to call "The Tragedy of Caledonia." Second - the song wasn't sad enough, it wasn't mournful or pleading enough. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great - I got the sense that the bagpipers on the cd were mailing it in, just playing for the check. That's not how I like my bagpipe music. I didn't buy the cd. The search continues...

5) "The Fast and the Furious" is one of my favorite movies that I have never seen. It looks dark, mysterious, and edgy, Vin Diesel is cool, I have man crushes on Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez, and, of course, anyone who knows me knows I am a total gearhead. Now they have made a sequel called - ah, I'm not sure...Faster and More Furious? - and there is a preview which is running constantly during Heat games. It is the one commercial that I stop the Tivo fast forward to watch. Every time I see it, I am like, "whooaaa - Diesel and Walker, crap, man, back together, I have to see that." But I haven't even seen the first one. Or the crappy second one, Tokyo Drift, starring Lucas Black, that I resented, even though I, again, never saw it. Sometimes there are jokes on this blog - this is not a joke.

6) Well, I have a new favorite U.S. Congressman, a Republican from Idaho, Mike Crapo. Here is his website: http://crapo.senate.gov/. Won reelection in 2004 in a very tight runoff against longtime political rivals, Ed Asswiper and Will Douchey.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Heat 94 Grizzlies 82

6 Thoughts

1) Taking care of business, easy win at home against Memphis. Up 16 at half, game never in doubt in second half. 38-32, 12 games left, keep on pushing, next goal is to get to .500. Not a compelling game, really, let's just breeze through this...

2) The Beaz Markie with a breezy 17 points, 9 rebounds, and one post-game visit to the Sunsport Winner's Lounge where we learned Mike prefers yellow mustard to spicy mustard, likes to do somersaults when he falls because it is easier to get up after rolling, and had no plans for after the game. Giggled a lot. Arguably was high.

3) Jermaine O'Neal missed the game with a sore hip. Enter...The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire! First double-double of the year, 10 points and 12 rebounds in 28 sweaty minutes. Found a soul mate in beefy Grizzly rookie Marc Gasol. Those two have similar absolute passions for banging into other large men in shorts...

4) Daequan Cook's shot is M.I.A. He hasn't broken 10 points in 9 games. He is the one pure outside shooter Miami has, but since winning the three point shooting contest at the All-Star Game he is just 36% on threes, and that includes one 6-8 outburst against Phoenix - that is pedestrian for him. He is seeing his minutes cut, which hurts Miami because they lose the best floor spacer to play with Wade, and lose their best on the ball perimeter defender. Daequan needs to get his swagger back somehow.

5) Memphis has Marco (Jaric) and Darko (Milicic). I am surprised they are not a lot better than 17-53.

6) Many people took the time to comment that yesterday's sixth thought resembled the plot line to the classic S.E. Hinton novel, and subsequent motion picture, The Outsider. That's a great point - I had never quite thought about that before, but you're right, there are a lot of similarities...A couple people wanted to know if I had really attended a Devo concert last weekend. Thank you for asking, but, no, I did not. A couple of factors at play here: 1) I don't think Devo is actually a band any more; 2) Devo is terrible.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Heat 101 Pistons 96

6 Thoughts

1) One win closer in this improbable playoff run. Now 37-32 after a win in Detroit, 13 games to go. At the start of the season I'd have bet anything we'd have 26 wins right now - only Dos reader Scott from Scotland had any faith in DWade and the boys. He should be writing this blog right now - he is both a better NBA prognosticator, and a better writer than me - that's depressing.

2) Wade - 39 more points, 6 assists, 2 steals (one a game changing breakaway dunk under 2 minutes to go), and 4 blocks. 2 blocks in the last two minutes. Detroit, down 1, with 6.9 seconds to go, with the ball, called timeout. Huddled up, considered their options, then decided that the best course of action was to clear out the top and let Rodney Stuckey go to work on that Wade guy. Bad, bad idea. For one possession, Wade is as good a perimeter defender as there is in basketball - he not only blocked Stuckey's shot, he saved the rebound, and falling out of bounds, found Udonis Haslem with a pass that effectively ended the game. Look, do anything you want on the last play - but don't go at Wade. Worth mentioning here that I have contended all year that former NBA scrub Michael Curry, installed by Detroit GM Joe Dumars in the offseason, seems nothing like a real coach...Also worth mentioning that earlier in the game, ABC play-by-play announcer Mike Breen said that Stuckey "reminds people of Wade in a lot of ways." "Name one," immediately challenged color commentator Jeff Van Gundy. "Well, they are the same body type," offered Breen. "I am the same body type as Allen Iverson," countered Van Gundy. "They are both black," M.Minutos pointed out. If you want to be the Wade, you have to beat the Wade...

3) Look, someone at Hacienda Dos claimed that if the struggling Udonis Haslem came out on the court out of a timeout instead of rookie scoring threat Mike Beasley for the Heat's last offensive possession, down one with 13 seconds to go, that that individual would literally take a dump in his pants. Does it really matter who it was? Let's all just be happy UD picked up a loose ball off a scramble and tossed it in for the game winning basket. Also, just because a person tends to express displeasure and frustration by threatening to take a dump in his pants definitely does not make someone a bad person, just a stinky one.

4) At halftime, ABC sideline reporter Lisa Salters corned injured Piston (and former Connecticut Husky) Rip Hamilton and asked him, "you are missing your fourth straight game with a strained groin - what does it feel like?" Rip couldn't resist a big smile...

5) ABC announcer Mike Breen recounted a story that he had flown across country sitting near Cameron Diaz. After landing, he asked her for an autograph for his daughter - apparently she is a big fan of crappy romantic comedies. She politely turned him down because she didn't want to have to sign autographs for everyone on the plane. "I turned off her movie in the hotel last night," said Van Gundy, supporting his partner. "She's a straight up bitch," asserted third broadcaster, and former Knick great, Mark Jackson. Disclaimer: Mark Jackson did not really say that, and I know it isn't funny to call a woman a bitch, that's why I did it, to point out how funny it isn't - don't email me.

6) A lot of people don't realize this, but I am an absolute fiend for the band Devo. Grew up worshipping them. It was, like - I was nerdy as a kid, but Devo made it cool to be nerdy; they were so ironic - like, "we are so nerdy, but we embrace our nerdiness and, therefore, we are cool." Are we not men? No, we are Devo!


In any case, they are back together and on tour, and this past weekend stopped down in Miami at Bayfront Park for a show. I went down there with my friends Johnny, Darrel, and Dallas. So we are enjoying the show, just rocking out hard to, like, Whip It, and their cover of Satisfaction, when a little static starts between this group of rich hipsters and my crew. The hipsters thought they were all cool, wearing expensive, well-tailored suits. They were probably club owners, or something. So anyways, a little pushing breaks out, and one of the hipsters threatens to take me out back behind the park and drown me in the bay, and Johnny, in a panic, pulls out his glock and kind of pumps one into the guy's stomach. Mayhem ensues - we go fleeing out of the park as the crowd also runs for cover. Outside, Dallas grabs Johnny and me and tells us to run up the street to the construction site where the old Miami Arena used to be, and to wait there for him until he texts us. So we bust up the street there, sneak inside, and hide out.

A day or two goes by. I go out to the convenience store and get some clippers and peroxide, and then we cut our hair low, and dye it blond. Finally, Dallas texts us that he is coming to bring us home - he shows up, but as we are walking to his car, there is, like, a fire in one of the Overtown tenement buildings and Johnny runs in and saves some kids, but gets mortally wounded. We put him in a hospital, then arrange for a big rumble with the hipsters in the abandoned Orange Bowl. The fight goes down - we win - but Johnny dies in the hospital. Dallas freaks out and gets shot by some cops. I go back to school. Quite a weekend, let me tell you...



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Friday, March 20, 2009

Nets 96 Heat 88

6 Thoughts

1) This was a tough one to watch, a loss on the road against a bad team, without their best player (Devin Harris out with a strained shoulder). Wade was back, and even though the numbers looked ok (27 points, 8 rebounds, 6 assists), he lacked his usual zip. Just one of those nights, I suppose, that happens over the course of 82 games - you just come out flat against a loose team playing out the string and making shots. Coach Spo searched all nights for answers, playing 11 different guys a minimum of 9 minutes - that rarely works. Miami is just 1-6 on the road since the all-star break, with 8 of the last 14 away from Miami. Just have to hang in there, move on, scratch out a few more wins.

2) There is a problem at the power forward spot. Udonis Haslem is a warrior, doesn't demand any shots, and plays as hard as anyone in basketball trip-for-trip. But right now he looks worn down by a long season, and, perhaps, limited by his back which reportedly has bothered him since a nasty fall several weeks ago. He can't finish at the rim - he is repeatedly getting his shot blocked, or missing layups. On the other hand, Mike Beasley showed his scoring ability again tonight, making 8-11 shots for 17 points in only 26 minutes. The Nets didn't have anyone who could stay in front of him - he went around Yi like Yi went around the chair in the infamous pre-draft workout tape. One, Mike needs more shots - especially when playing with the second unit, the ball needs to go through him, repeatedly. Two, perhaps it is time that minutes get funneled away from Udonis and towards Mike. He played 26 tonight - more than his average - because Udonis got in foul trouble, I suspect. He got pulled with 5 minutes to go in the fourth quarter because he lost focus on an offensive possession and got the ball stripped. Okay, it was twice - but it was the same possession. Coach Spo is hard core about focus - call a timeout, yell at the kid, fine. But I think he needs to be left in there to make some mistakes and, just maybe, to help win a game.

3) This Luther Head, recently signed by Miami to try to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard - Jesus. 1-6 from the floor, quite a few bad decisions. It seems to me the Heat spend a lot of time trying to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard, when the best option, from Dos Headquarters, looks like Chris Quinn. Let's move Luther Head a few seats down the bench for now, please. And make room down there for James Jones.

4) CDR. Big night, career high 17 points for New Jersey, dagger 3 to seal the win. He has a slight whiff of a guy posting numbers for a team that has ceased to care a little, but let's give him a chance, he's just a rookie. Could end up being a scorer off the bench for someone some day.

5) Brook Lopez is so Ilgauskas-like it is almost eerie. One - good shooter. Two - good footwork in the postup game, but very deliberate. Three - never jumps. Four - goober-y looking. Also, good offensive rebounder, keeps the ball high, drops it back in. It is easy to see why he slid in the draft to the Nets at 10 - you wouldn't exactly call him athletic. But it is also easy to see why he is going to be a productive player in the league for a long time - good fundamental skills. And, at the center spot, that is saying something, that makes him a valuable commodity.

6) The AIG thing is bizarre. This is the thing we can all agree on? We are going to take out all our frustration on these guys? We are wasting time on needless legislation to tax these bonuses? Even Republicans are on board with a 90% tax that appears to just be a defacto violation of contracts these employees signed? I, personally, could care less - if people want to throw these guys under the bus, if that is going to make everyone feel better, great. Just seems like an odd waste of energy and resources.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Celtics 112 Heat 108 ot

6 Thoughts

1) Goodness gracious, another overtime game, the third in the last five games - this one thankfully only went one extra session. Dwyane Wade missed his first game of the season with assorted ailments, but primarily a hip flexor. Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen both missed the game for Boston - in the words of immortal former Heat point guard Tim Hardway: "Sides was even." Wade is expected back Friday for the Nets, or Sunday for Detroit.

2) Got down 16 early, but climbed back to lead by 5 at halftime behind Beasley's 11 second quarter points. The Heat led much of the second half before fading late. If there was any frustration -and there shouldn't be without Wade - it was that Mike Beasley didn't touch the ball more down the stretch. It didn't look like anyone on Boston could stop him. As it was, The Beas scored 21 on 10-18 shooting, but without Wade it was a night where maybe he could have been turned loose for 25 shots. It would have been interesting - still would love to see that one night. He scores more easily than 95% of the players in the league.

3) Young O. Minutos' favorite player, Paul Pierce, got off early with 12 points in the first five minutes of the game, took a nap until the fourth quarter, and exploded for 21 more in the fourth and overtime. Made four or five contested jumpers down the stretch, fallaways, hand in the face. Did the obligatory scratchy-voiced interview after the game. Love Paul Pierce - big time player.

4) The Celtics praying mantis-like big man Mikki Moore fouled out in only 17 minutes. A week ago, in the Heat's win in Boston, he somehow amassed four fouls in the first quarter. He has an absolute passion for fouling, and for ridiculous hairdos: http://redsarmy.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mikkimoore.jpg. Like a low rent Busta Rhymes...Rooaar, rooaar, like a dungeon dragon, Mikki!

5) Okay, playoff reset. Miami is 36-31, 15 games left to play, but 9 are on the road, and 9 are also against playoffs teams. That's a tough finish. They sit in 5th place. They probably can't catch the Hawks, 3.5 games ahead of them. Philadephia is a game behind Miami, and Detroit 2.5 games behind - the Heat play Detroit Sunday. Finish in 5th and you play Atlanta - that's a winnable series with DWade. Finish in 6th or 7th, play Boston or Orlando - can't win either of those series, unless the Celtics remain banged up. In 8th is Chicago, 5 games behind the Heat. Fall to 8th, and get pummeled by league best Cleveland and LeBron James in the first round. Milwaukee and Charlotte are 9th, 6.5 games behind. Only the top 8 make it. For Miami, a team that won only 15 games last year, any spot in the playoffs is an achievement and a worthwhile experience, especially for a team as young as they are. 38 wins - 2 more out of 15 - might get in. 39 wins probably gets in. 40 wins almost positively gets in. Miami just needs to grind out a couple more, somewhere, somehow. Let's get that DWade back on the court...

6) Speaking of Milwaukee...Uh-oh. Former University of Connecticut and current Milwaukee Bucks power forward extraordinaire Charlie Villanueva has run afoul of his uber-intense coach Scott Skiles for posting to his Twitter feed from the locker room during halftime of a recent game during the Celtics: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3990853.
Look, one, he was posting positive stuff: "I gotta step up." That good, right? Two, the kid has alopecia: http://thetimetube.com/wp-content/uploads/Ugliest%20People/charlie_villanueva.jpg. I mean, come on - let's cut him some slack. Three, the Bucks won the game, and Charlie scored 19 points. I like to think of the whole incident as Charlie trying to find a way to use a little down time productively. Free Charlie V and his Twitter!

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sixers 85 Heat 77

6 Thoughts

1) Just to warn you: I am out of gas like the Heat. Miami, one day after a thrilling triple overtime victory over Utah, hung in for three and a half quarters in Philadelphia, but made just 2 out of its last 17 shots, watching a narrow lead slip away, and ending a 3 game winning streak.

2) DWade looked exhausted. 50 yesterday; 18 today. Was not assertive down the stretch, allowing Jermaine O'Neal (20 points) to be the focal point of the offense. Apparently, Wade is human.

3) For approximately the 400th time in the last week, a break in the action delivered a highlight package which included Dwyane Wade's double overtime, steal and racing three pointer at the buzzer to beat Chicago, followed by Wade climbing on the scorer's table while a standing, cheering, fist-pumping play by play announcer Eric Reid tried in vain to get a high five. Coming back from the highlight tonight, color man Tony Fiorentino chided Reid: "Who was that crazy guy in the white shirt standing up and pumping his fists," Tony asked. Reid went on to explain that he briefly lost his mind, and was surprised that Tony had not also. "I would have," said Tony, "but I was trying to get you down because I figured we should talk about it." A rare zinger from Tony F. Not a good one, mind you, but a zinger nonetheless.

4) Old Connecticut Husky star, and friend of Dos Minutos, Donyell Marshall left his patrol at the end of the Sixer bench for only his 14th game appearance this season and dropped 3 crucial threes on the Heat in the fourth quarter. Donyell had the single greatest individual season in Connecticut history in 1993-94 when he averaged 25 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 blocks a game. Missed two free throws with less than a second to go in a tie game in a third round NCAA tournament game that they ended up losing in overtime to Florida. Never turned into an NBA star even though he was drafted 4th in '94, with career averages of 11 points and 7 rebounds per game. On his NBA.com bio page he says he thinks Ludcris should play him in the story of his life. Donyell is 6'9", Luda probably about 5'6". Hmmm. In any case, it was good to see Donyell out there, even carrying a little of a belly, but still stroking the long ball. Made the loss a little easier to swallow.

5) Sixer backup point guard Royal Ivey appeared about three shades darker than he normally does. I don't know if it is time for a new tv, or he has been in the tanning booth. Usually a pleasant milk chocolate color, looked positively Wesley Snipesian today.

6) Since we are talking about color: someone recently asked me who the whitest person I know is. Good question - great question. Obviously, the answer is my mom. Very fair-skinned, and has an absolute passion for bran-based breads, and yogurt. I eliminated a lot of the very white-Southernish people I know in Florida because they are sufficiently trashy so as to have lost many of the qualities that make a person identifiably white. Also, eliminated all foreigners on general principle. The rest of the top five behind my mom: #2, very pale actress Anne Hathaway; #3, former Duke basketball great J.J. Reddick; #4, Saturday Night Live cast member Will Forte; and #5, David Brooks from the New York Times. Just missing the list: Cal Ripken Jr. (steroid enhanced whiteness), former CBS news anchorman Roger Mudd (a little old - may have lost a bit off the white fastball), and Mary Steenburgen.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Heat 140 Jazz 129 3ot

6 Thoughts

1) The Heat are now 1-0 in triple overtime games, taking down Utah in Miami, who had won 12 of their last 13 overall. The Heat down 7 with 90 seconds to go in regulation, down 8 with 2 minutes to go in the first overtime, and were able to extend the game both times. Wade missed a jumper at the end of the second overtime to win it, Heat pushed out and won the third easily. Now a season high 7 games over .500 at 36-29. 9 of next 12 on road - just have to scratch out wins where possible. Brutal turnaround afternoon game tomorrow in Philly - by the time Miami got to the second overtime, it felt like a must-win with tomorrow's game promising to a fatigued affair.

2) Wade - ridiculous again. On a night where he seemed to feel less than great, 50 more points, along with 10 rebounds, 9 assists, and 4 steals. Became Miami's all-time leading scorer, passing Alonzo, even though Alonzo played in approximately 900 more games. Look, LeBron is going to win the MVP - that's how it goes in the NBA, we decide who is going to win before the year, and then it is that guy's to lose. And LeBron has done nothing to lose it - he deserves it. But Wade's push should make him the leader in the clubhouse at the start of next season, to the degree that it matters. Which is not at all. Wade already has the MVP that matters most - the Finals MVP from 2006. LeBron's still working on that. So, too, for that matter, is Kobe. One is due the trophy this year - I'm guessing it will be LeBron.

3) Emcee Chalmers! Battled one of Dos' favorite non-Heat players, Deron Williams, all night. Williams got the best of him through much of the game - he finished with 30, and 13 assists. But Chalmers scored 23 of his own, and on back-to-back possessions in the third overtime stole the ball from Williams, and the Heat turned it into 4 points on the other end which pretty much decided the game. Chalmers may not be quite strong enough to be a defensive on the ball stopper yet, but he is quick, pesky, tireless, competes hard, and is 4th in the league in steals per game...and, of course, he is also a dear, dear friend.

4) Well, it was the first night since he became active halfway through the season that I didn't want to strangle James Jones. Okay, at least not all night - in the first half, I did. But he played well down the stretch, and Coach Spo rewarded him by letting him play the overtimes (Daequan Cook was out due to a dental issue), where he did a good job on the previously scorching hot Kyle Korver, and knocked down the biggest shot of the game, a corner three off an easy drive-and-kick from Wade midway through the third overtime to push the lead up and just about out of reach. Also made 2 free throws at the end of regulation with 3.4 to go to tie the score. Good night for Miami's own Mr. Jones.

5) Not to be forgotten: Jermaine O'Neal had 28 points and 8 rebounds. But it was his 5 timely blocks - including one at the end of the first overtime, right at the rim, with less than a minute to go, on a speeding Paul Milsap trying to flush one on him in transition, that helped save the game. Jermaino's best game on the Heat so far.

6) Finally, I hate to do this, but I need to get serious for a moment. With the tremendous run of success this country is on right now, I hate to bring up bad news, but I recently ran across this Haiku I wrote in 2005. By the way, that's not a joke - it was May 6th, 2005, there is a date on it. For some reason I was writing a lot of Haiku during that time of my life. I don't think they were all as serious as this one, but, every once in a while, somebody has to be real with it...Often, that's the Haikuist's job. Unfortunately, I am sad to report, not much has changed, and we just failed to elect the one guy who claimed he could rectify the situation.

Crafty. Bearded. Mean.
Hiding out in a dark cave.
Oh no, Osama.



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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Heat 107 Celtics 99

6 Thoughts

1) Yeaahhh, that's how we do it over the defending NBA Champion Boston Celtics!!! Okay, backup guard Tony Allen was out, but he's been done for the season for a while. Oh yeah, Glen "Big Baby" Davis was out, too, but he isn't so great anwyays. Oh, right, starting point guard and defensive menace Rajon Rondo was out also, true, I'll give you that. What? You say Celtic team leader, defensive anchor, and all-around ferocious competitor, Kevin Garnett, the heart of the Celtics, was out, too? I didn't even notice. You know why? I was too busy watching us beat the defending NBA Champion Boston Celtics!!!

2) Season-high 6 games over .500, 35-29. Eighteen games left, 40 wins is the magic number. Brutal five game stretch starting Saturday in Miami against a smoking hot Utah team, then four straight road games against playoff contenders.

3) Also out for the Celtics, former Net great and Plumber fave Brian Scalabrine. You know, this guy: http://www.nba.com/media/act_brian_scalabrine.jpg. Suffering from "post-concussion syndrome." Hit his head on a sandwich.

4) Tonight was just plain old normal Wade: only 32 points on 9-20 (first time under 50% in a couple of weeks), 7 assists, 4 boards, and 4 steals. Oh, plus a game clinching 3 over Ray Allen in the final minute.

5) One of tonight's referees, Steve Javie, once was fined only $1,000 by the NBA for telling then Heat coach, and current Heat president, Pat Riley, that "it is giving us absolute delight to watch you and your team die" during a game Miami was losing. Riley was fined $50,000 for pointing it out after the game. Strange. I'm not making it up, here is a link to an article about it: http://hoopshype.com/columns/officiating_arnold.htm. Brutal how Javie twisted the knife with the "absolute" phrasing - every third word out of Riley's mouth is "absolute." Do you think that before every Heat game that Javie refs, as he and his partners are getting dressed, he tells them the story again, while they silently roll their eyes behind his back? "Yeah, I once told Pat Riley off in this building - eff him - I'll do it again if I have to!" Earlier in the game, M.Minutos noticed him talking to new Heater Jermaine O'Neal during a break in the action. "Hey, J.O., hey J.O. - you weren't here then - did you hear about the time I told Pat Riley off in this building? Eff him - I'll do it again if I have to!"

6) Thor asked me to review track 11 of U2's new album. His review of track 6 coming later in the week. Look, it is the last song on the album, so it is probably unfair, because I think they tend to put some of their slower, less catchy songs back there. It is okay, kind of a slow spoken lament about war, and how effed up the world is, called "Cedars of Lebanon." Let The Captain listen to it, he felt it was fair as well. Thought it might get better with additional listens. Pointed out that hates Bono's activism, a fact of which I was well aware. (Full disclosure: The Captain loves Yes, Rush, and Boston, and is a Republican). Album got five stars from Rolling Stone out of five, which claimed it is their best album since Achtung, Baby - always a bad sign when Rolling Stone starts comparing a band's album as the "best since" - "The Rolling Stones' first effort at a full-on gangster rap album is their best since Some Girls." Look, good rock music is by the people, for the people, but without giving a crap if the people like it. U2 - they are way far away from that, right? I respect them, it could be worse, but I think I will pass on the rest of the album, even at nine cents a track on the Russian website.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Heat 130 Bulls 127 2ot

6 Thoughts

1) "Guys, it's a tie game, 15 seconds to go in the second overtime. Let's come out of this timeout, run the clock down, and take the last shot. Whatever you do, don't let Dwyane Wade steal the ball from you, steam upcourt, and make a running three pointer to win the game at the buzzer. Okay? Bring it in - one, two, three, Bulls!"

2) You have to kidding me: DWade - 15 of 21 for 48 points, 5 for 6 threes!, 12 assists, 6 rebounds, 4 steals, 3 blocks, one steal and running three pointer at the buzzer to win in double overtime. 15-21 for 48 points? What? What has gotten in to this kid? As the winning three went through the net, Wade ran to the scorers table, climbed up, and declared "this is my house." Heat play-by-player Eric Reid stood underneath him, pumping his fists, yelling, and waving in vain for a high five from Wade, before quickly composing himself, turning to partner Tony Fiorentino, and giving him a "come on, let's calm down and keep it professional," palms down gesture. Tony had never moved.

3) Earlier in the game, when talking about shotblocking, Reid, an impressive repository of NBA knowledge, referenced mid-80s Bulls fringe reserve big man Jawan Oldham, pointing out that "you certainly remember him, Tony!" After a long pause, it turned out Tony did not remember him: "I mean, the name seems kind of familiar, but I don't know, Eric." Oh. Well, for a mid-80s Bulls fringe reserve big man, he could really block a shot or two.

4) It was Noche Latino Night at the Heat's house. Or Latino Noche Night. I can't remember which way it goes. Free arepas for everyone! And the Heat's uniforms said "El Heat" on the front! And to all our Latin readers, we wish you a warm Buenos Aires!

5) Ben Gordon, scorching for the Bulls, deserves a mention, especially because he played at UConn, which is the next best thing to actually being from Connecticut. Brought us the 2004 National Championship, so he will always be considered part of the Dos family. As a bonus, he's from Mount Vernon, New York, Tony Fiorentino's hometown. 8 out of 11 threes for Ben on his way to 43 points of his own. 5 triples in the fourth quarter, including the last fifteen for the Bulls in regulation. Love that Ben Gordon.

6) I don't know how many Dos readers read, like, books, but it was an impossibly cool night at Florida Atlantic University before the game digging around in the Rare Books collection, and in the Jaffe Center for Book Arts. In the former saw a first edition Stephen Crane Maggie: a Girl of the Streets, which is an utter classic. Spare, grim, common, grey, concise, desperate, American. The Jaffe Center is a wing of the FAU library which contains one of the world's foremost collection of creative books, books which themselves are art: handmade, crafted, wildly imaginative, colorful, foldouts, foldins, popups, popsideways, fabrics, wood, refractioning, retracting - anything you can imagine. The director of the center is a guy named John Cutrone, who also owns his own book-creating label named Convivio Books in downtown Lake Worth. Amazingly awesome dude. For anyone interested in books at all, or for anyone with even a minimal level of joie de vivre, the Jaffe Center is definitely worth checking out, as is Convivio. At least have a look at their websites: http://www.library.fau.edu/depts/spc/JaffeCenter/jaffeabout.htm + http://www.conviviobookworks.com/.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Cavs 99 Heat 89

6 Thoughts

1) It was destined to be a loss: second night of a back-to-back, on the road in Cleveland where the Cavs are now 28-1. Worse, the Cavs were embarrassed in Boston on Friday by a Kevin Garnett-less Celtics. Heat got down 20 almost before the opening tip. To their credit, they hung around all night, and even got it down to six a couple of times in the fourth quarter, but it wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough.

2) Unlike the thriller between these two teams this past Monday, this was a lower energy affair. LeBron had the most pedestrian triple-double of his career, if a triple double is ever pedestrian: 14 points, 12 assists, 10 rebounds. Wade had 25 points, 12 assists, and 8 rebounds, but he wasn't at his best, either. They can't combine for 83 points every time they play.

3) Wade got ejected with 50 seconds to go. Drove the lane, crashed into Varejo, threw up a wild shot, didn't get a call, complained, and was ejected. Coach Spo picked a technical for good measure. In fairness to the referee, it looked like Varejo went straight up and didn't deserve a foul. In fairness to Wade, the other 6,000 times he has hurtled into a big man in his career, there has been a foul called. Wade expects every call. All great players expect every call: Wade, Kobe, LeBron, Duncan, Chris Paul - they're all whiners. You know who doesn't complain? Spurs forward Matt Bonner. The Red Rocket. You know, this guy: http://www.hoopsvibe.com/IMG/matt_bonner-arton20875-240x240.jpg

4) Well, I have had enough of Mo Williams for the week. Following up his 30 point effort in Miami on Monday, he dropped 29 more tonight. Made six of seven threes. Two offseasons ago he used a free agent offer from Miami to help leverage up his current eight million dollar a year contract (which he received from his then-employer Milwaukee). He's been killing us ever since. Seems a little ungrateful.

5) Mike Beasley can score on anybody. 9-14 for 19 more in only 25 minutes. 5 rebounds, and one knee bruise when Mario Chalmers fell on top of him trying to get over a screen. Beasley scored on Varejo, he scored on Joe Smith, he scored on Ilgauskas. The Heat is trying to make the playoffs, and they are trying to teach Beasley to be a productive all around player. They are very strict with him, demanding he play defense, and rebound, and he has made strides. Just once, though, I 'd like to see them turn him loose, see how many he could score in a night if he had free reign. Had he played all year for a losing team, 30 plus minutes a night, without a DWade - like most rookies - he'd be averaging somewhere between 19-22 points a game. He isn't an athlete, but his ability to make shots from anywhere on the court is phenomenal. He also has the ability that the best scorers have - to still his upper body and balance up to complete a shot, even when his lower body is out of kilter. Maybe he is too mellow, maybe he will never develop in to an all-around great player. But the talent for scoring is very, very high.

6) Want to write about the show Millionaire Matchmaker, but I'm too tired. We'll do that sometime during the upcoming week. For the moment let's just stipulate that it is the greatest new television programming since The Mike Huckabee Show...Three home games this week: Monday (Chicago), Wednesday (Boston), Saturday (Utah), quick turnaround for a Sunday afternoon affair in Philly. That's a tough week - really, really need to get the Bulls game. Anyone thinking Miami is a shoe-in for the playoffs hasn't checked the remaining schedule - it's brutal, and it started tonight...

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Friday, March 6, 2009

Heat 108 Raptors 102

6 Thoughts

1) Getting it done on the road against a bad team. 21 games to go, and only 8 more home games - winning on the road against inferior teams is essential, especially with a road game Saturday night in Cleveland that is a likely loss. Now 33-28. Creeping ever closer to the 40 wins that it should take to get in the playoffs, but a brutal remaining schedule makes it less than a sure thing...

2) Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Layup. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. Dwyane Wade was unconscious. That is as hot as he can get with the jumper. It is as hot as anyone can get with the jumper. Scored 42 more points on 17-23 from the field, mostly jump shots. Two of the misses were shot clock, dribble out heaves in the last 40 seconds when the game was over. Over the last nine games he is averaging 36.5 points, 10 assists, and has shot over 50% in every game. The last four are 46, 41, 35, 42. It is the best stretch of his career - save the '06 Finals, where only the magnitude of the situation made it better. You watch basketball your whole life - and there is always something else that can amaze you. This stretch is amazing.

3) Homecoming for Jermaine O'Neal and Jamario Moon. Jermaino was somewhat less than great, 8 points and 8 rebounds, although he was his usual solid defensive presence. Didn't play down the stretch - banged his bad knee in the first half and felt sore in the second half. Jamario was quiet, only 5 points and 5 boards. He, too, made his usual plus contribution on the defensive end. At a minimum, both guys are professional and efficient basketball players who make the correct plays more often than not. It is one thing to make physical errors - the presence of these two has made Miami a smarter basketball team.

4) Speaking of smart basketball players, it was nice to see old friend Shawn Marion, the man for whom O'Neal and Moon were acquired. Shawn played exactly like he did down here - grabbed a few rebounds, played hard, finished a couple of scrambles inside with buckets, took approximately 3-5 ridiculously ill-conceived, unmakeable shots. The mental aspect of the game is not exactly Shawn's forte. I am ready to say it: Jamario Moon is a better basketball player than Shawn Marion right now. Moon passes a minimum standard of jump shooting for an NBA small forward, which Marion falls well below, and defends at the same level as Marion. His rebounding is slightly less impressive. However, the negative plays that Marion "creates" by overdribbling, and forcing odd-angle runners, and Moon's relative efficiency, make Moon the more valuable player. Even without Jermaine O'Neal, even without the cap benefit of dumping Marcus Banks' salary, a straight up Shawn Marion for Jamario Moon deal would have improved the Heat.

5) Mike Beasley, efficient night, and one monstrous block at the rim of Toronto star Chris Bosh, the man he will be traded for at the deadline next year...

6) Quite a debate in the Dos offices today. Who would win a battle to the death, Montecore, the tiger who attacked Roy, of Siegfield and Roy, or Travis, the chimpanzee who recently attacked his owner who had raised him since he was a baby? Most of the early money came in on Montecore, but I contend that there is at least a chance that Travis gets up in to a tree, waits until Montecore falls asleep, then climbs down and slits his nemesis' throat with a knife. Opposable thumbs...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Heat 135 Suns 129

6 Thoughts

1) Miami sweeps both games this year from Shaq and the Suns. It should have been easier - Miami got easy and open looks all night. But Phoenix stayed around by knocking down tough jumpers time after time. In the NBA, the skill level is so high that usually the team that creates the better shots wins - NBA players knock down open looks - but tonight Miami got far better shots, and yet Phoenix was able to stick around all evening before succumbing...Still, that's 32 wins with 22 games to go. 40 should do it...

2) Satisfying to beat Shaq twice this year. Burned his way out of town last year, trashing people left and right. Dwyane Wade, who put 43 on him in the win in Phoenix, dropped 35 more on him tonight, on only 21 shots. Added 16 assists for good measure. And 6 boards. And a game changing, come-from-behind-in-transition-and-block-your-wide-open-layup-while-I-am-drilling-you-in-to-the-basket-support-with-no-foul-called-because-I-am-Dwyane-Wade block on Grant Hill. Wade also made it clear in his pre-game comments that he had lost a little respect for the way the Big Guy quit on his team last year. "Shaq is Shaq - everyone loves him," said Wade, with a look on his face that made it clear that Shaq being Shaq has both pluses and minuses.

3) Shaq played a pretty good game himself, continuing a bounceback year, at least on the offensive end. Asserted himself in the lane and had 22 points and 8 rebounds. Got two fouls in the first five minutes and had to sit down, though, as Miami blistered out to an 11 point lead after one quarter - I have seen that movie before. It is fair to mention that it is very difficult to be a good defensive team with Shaq on the court - he doesn't even try to defend pick and rolls, which means the other team always has the option of taking an open 15 footer. And, under two minutes to go, on two critical possessions, Wade went middle, located Shaq, careened in to him, threw his arms in the air, and walked to the line and made four free throws. Free money. He's seen that movie before. In a related story, Tony Fiorentino pointed out in the first quarter that Miami was "attacking the basket before Shaq can get over to block the shot!" Before Shaq can get over to block the shot? When is that going to happen, 1996?

4) DCook and Mr. Beasley: smoking hot, on fire, dialed all the way up. Cook made 6 of 8 threes on his way to 27 points, and Beasley had 28 points and 9 rebounds in only 27 minutes. I mean, it helps that the other team isn't defending, but still...


5) A lot of people upset about the Sully Sullenberger post a couple of games ago. Got several emails about that. I didn't imply that he wasn't a hero - obviously, I am thrilled that he brought that plane down safely. If he did it - that's all I am saying. I didn't watch Lost yet tonight, but if this episode has a pilot who looks like Ted Turner's less smarmy younger brother, who lands a plane, and then goes to the Oscars, everyone is going to be feeling me.

6) Late night tonight - will be going through The Correspondence of Daniel O'Connell, vol. VII, 1841-1845 to see if the great Irish Liberator's views on the Poor Laws changed at all with the onset of famine-like conditions across Ireland during the early 1840s...Get it? That's a joke...Of course they didn't! You must have thought I went all octo-mom crazy on you there for a second...

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

Cavs 107 Heat 100

6 Thoughts

1) Fantastic game, although a disappointing loss. Miami led by 11 with just under 8 minutes to go before a 12-0 Cleveland run wiped out the lead in short order. Cleveland was just a little too big, and had a few too many answers. And LeBron. Look, I thought Jamario Moon played him about as well as he can be played, and he somehow had 42 points on 21 shots. Six of seven threes - that's not fair. Furthermore, he got fouled on two other threes, so essentially it was eight of nine. I still don't think anyone is beating them in the playoffs this year.

2) LeBron: 42 points, 8 rebounds, 4 assists, 1 steal, 1 block
DWade: 41 points, 7 rebounds, 9 assists, 7 steals, 1 block
One thing nobody thinks about enough: when you have LeBron or Wade on your team, you always get the other team's A+ effort every night. When, say, the Sixers come to town with Andre Iguoldala, maybe you get the occasional B-/C+ effort. It makes a difference. When Wade and LeBron play each other, well, you get epic lines like the ones above.

3) For the second straight game, Spoelstra went bananas. Midway through the fourth quarter, after the Heat had seen their 11 point lead cut to 6, Chalmers came up over halfcourt yelling at the official for a timeout. He was approximately a foot and a half from the guy. Somehow the ref didn't hear him. LeBron James, closing on Chalmers, gave him a little bump towards the sidelines, Chalmers, with nowhere to go and falling out of bounds, hurled the ball 50 feet downcourt where it, miraculously, hit off the backboard. With half of Miami's team congregated by the bench for the timeout that was never granted, Cleveland quickly rushed the ball back downcourt and Mo Williams made an open three to cut the lead to 3. As the ball went through the net, Coach Spo was 15 feet on to the court arguing with referee Leroy Richardson who, in fairness, was not the ref who neglected to call the timeout or the LeBron bump. It happens - it certainly didn't decide the game. But it shows how important every game is to Miami, trying to scratch out wins and get in to the playoffs - even the normally composed Spoelstra is showing the tension.

4) Mo Williams, that's the guy who is going to allow Cleveland to win the title. He gives LeBron a sidekick, a guy who can create baskets on his own. He hit innumerable big shots tonight and backed LeBron's 42 with 30 of his own. Good enough to be the second best player on a championship team (as long as the best player is LeBron).

5) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino continued his campaign for Dwyane Wade as MVP. It is a season long quest for Tony who is stubbornly unaccepting of the unofficial NBA rule that says you have to be on at least a 50 win team to win an NBA MVP award. It's just the way it is - you don't have to like it. The visit from LeBron - the presumptive MVP - to Miami encouraged Tony to relate a conversation he had with Knicks head coach, and Wade and LeBron's Olympic assistant coach, Mike D'Antoni before Saturday night's Knick game. "Eric, I said to him is it a fair assessment that if Dwyane Wade was not on the Olympic team that Spain would have the gold medal right now, and he said to me, 'yes, that is a fair assessment.'" Not sure if that is going to stand up in a court of law, but there you have it..."Yeah, so then some crazy guy with a bushy moustache somehow gets down on the court before the game asking me if I thought we would have beaten Spain without Wade on team." "What did you tell him?" "I just agreed with him - I didn't know what he was going to do..."

6) Finally - caught the premier of the creative and outstanding new romantic cop dramedy on ABC called Castle. Nick Castle is a wildly successful writer of crime novels, and some girl - I didn't catch her name - is a no-nonsense, by-the-book cop. Somehow they get thrown together and have to coexist throughout one hour of television every week. He is charismatic, but immature, so he irritates her, even though she finds him attractive. She is beautiful and smart, but takes herself a little too seriously. I mean, c'mon - a female cop? That's a little out there...Anyways, in the first episode they are trying to solve a crime or something, and then one evening he goes out on a date with a young, blond bimbo. There is a slightly uncomfortable scene where the two women meet, and the cop kind of gives the airhead the proverbial cold shoulder. The next day, they have the predictable tv conversation where the cop makes a sarcastic comment about his date, and then Castle is like, "why do you care who I date," and she says, "I really don't." Then he gets up as if to walk away from her, except at the last second he wheels back around and hits her with a right cross on the temple, sending her flying out of her chair to the floor, where she lies, dazed. He stands over her and says, "do you care now, you snarky bitch?" Later in the episode, she tries to bring charges against him, but the D.A., played by Robert Urich, is kind of an "old boys network" type of guy, and dismisses her claim as "ridiculous," even though she has a lump the size of a grapefruit protruding out of her head. Good show - I predict a long and successful run.