6 Thoughts
1) Tough home loss to the new look New York Knicks in a game Miami seemingly had won three different times. Especially tough losing on Oscar Night - I don't want to make excuses, but I wrote this blog once already with an Oscar theme, hated it, erased it, and now it's 12:22 and I am starting again. I think that's the first time I've ever finished and then erased a whole post. Inefficient - like the Miami offense tonight. Anyways, it's late, this post is probably going to stink, but we have to do it anyways: Oscar is waiting. By the way, I don't know if it's legal, but I voted for "Avatar" again. Let's go!
2) "It wasn't over when I left." "It's still not over!" The greatest line in movie history (Ryan Gosling in The Notebook) belongs to old friend Chauncey Billups tonight, the once and future Mr. Big Shots. Took over the fourth quarter, torching Mike Miller (Mike Miller? On a point guard?) repeatedly, forcing Spo to switch Wade on to him...annnnnd, he promptly made a 25 foot triple to win the game for the Knicks. Oh, Big Shots - I thought it was over between us when you went to the Western Conference to play for the Denver Nuggets, but now I see, we have a bond that will never die.
3) "I'm a fiend for mojitos." Of course, Colin Farrell in Miami Vice, the movie, followed immediately by him and some Cuban chick (don't know what it means that I can only remember Colin Farrell, not her) hopping into a go-fast boat, jetting the ninety or so miles to Cuba, getting liquored up, and making mad, passionate, Farrell-esque Cuban love! Probably with no condom, because that's how he does it...Belongs tonight to Dwyane Wade. Was he drunk? 5-15 for only 12 points, plus 5 turnovers for Dee Dub. Several possessions late in the game found him weaving all over the court like he had one too many. Perhaps Dwyane's mind was elsewhere, wishing he could have been in Hollywood, with longtime girlfriend Gabrielle Union, who was nominated for...well, she wasn't nominated for anything this year. But I promise you - I double promise you - any time the teenage cheerleading opus Bring It On is showing on tv, I never turn it off, although I will go get a sandwich during the Kirsten Dunst parts. Kirsten Dunst is like the Mario Chalmers of that film; Gabrielle Union is like Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. Put together. She's like- okay, that's enough...Anyways, Dwyane didn't have a good game.
4) "I'll play you for it." "For what?" "Your heart!" From Love and Basketball! Sanaa Lathan, all in shape to be a little point guard, she's like a- okay, okay...This belongs to Carmelo Anthony, in New York, where he was born, playing for the Knicks, where he belongs. He did what he do tonight, 29 points and 9 boards. Carmelo on the Knicks is just right. As a Heat fan, I know I'm supposed to hate the Knicks, but how can anyone hate a team with Melo, Amare, and Big Shots? Those are three great, and entertaining players. They played hard tonight - with heart!
5) "Hey, what did you think about the refereeing tonight?" "It was great! Even though we lost, it was demonstrably better than most NBA games, and crew chief Monty McCutcheon deserves a lot of credit. There were hardly any touch fouls called, and even on drives to the rim, you didn't get bailed out with a whistle - you had to finish. Just felt like I should note this." From the famous film, Not All Refs Suck...okay, I made it up. Not a lot of movies about referees, except Forget Paris, starring Billy Crystal, which I never saw. Why? I just told you: starring Billy Crystal. What are you, deaf? Just felt like I should mention it: like a game not marred by constant whistles.
6) Okay, okay, okay. New segment now: Ask Jax! This is where we ask Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson a question to learn a little more about him. We know a little about Jax's life from watching him on tv. He has two beautiful young boys about the same age as mine; he loves ascots; he is working hard to get in (even better) shape; he is unfailingly positive; he loves the Cincinnati Reds; and he loves working with young protege Johanna Gomez, but like, in a 'friends' kind of way (and we like watching her - in the same way, of course). Okay, so Jax: what is spinning on your ipod lately, what is the one song you just keep going back to over and over?
Sadly my IPod Touch is more of a road luxury. I listen to it on the plane and in hotel rooms that have the docking station but I mostly listen to CDs in the car and to itunes on the many computers (desktop at home, laptop and netbook in backpack) I find myself staring at throughout the season. Now that I have wasted all that time, I am a Jamie Foxx freak. Not in the Rick James Super Freak kind of way – I simply cannot consume enough of his work. So for the last two months I have his latest album Best Night of My Life front and center in the car and on the Most Played play list on all devices. The song that has me right now is track 8, “Fall For Your Type” (featuring Drake). I am a sucker for R & B ballads. While I tend to bow toward power ballads, there’s something about the phrasing and feeling of this song that got me, has me and won’t let me go.
Bottom line: ya gotta feel for a cat who is about to make the same old mistake as he always does with the same types of women, but is stepping out and hoping this one is different
Look, we would have been happy just with the name of a song, but Jax took-it-and-ran-with-it! Awesome! And you know what? He's right! I downloaded that song this morning and listened to it a few times - it is a legitimate slow burner about a dude who "always falls for your type," even though he knows it's trouble. It's got this syncopated, noirish Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight"-y sound, which makes it perfect for inclusion in Miami Vice II, starring the aforementioned Colin Farrell, and coincidentally, Jamie Foxx. You might ask: "Are they really making a sequel," and I would say to you, "They f-ing better, because the first one is drenched in cool atmospheric music, and a richly colored, shimmering - breathing - city of Miami, not to mention Farrell and Foxx." I dunno how many Oscars the first one won, but I can't wait for the second one...Thanks Jax - that really painted a picture: Jax, alone on the road, with his jams, and his innumerable electronic devices!!! Next week we will cover: why Jax doesn't like Drake (because he thinks he's a fake gangster), and why I do (because I'm suspect)...
Okay, we are off until Thursday...How do you like this weekend schedule: Thursday, home vs Orlando; Friday, at San Antonio; Sunday, home against Bulls? See you then. Oscar says: Let's Go!
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Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Heat 121 Wizards 113
6 Thoughts
1) Bounce back night on the day after a tough loss to Chicago. And, looooook here, just what the doctor ordered: the Washington Wizards, coming into the game with a 1-27 record on the road. Ahhhhhh, that's more like it. Wizards hung tough behind blur-ish rookie point guard John Wall (24 with 12 dimes) and an unconscious shooting night from Nick Young (38 points on 19 shots), who always lights up the Heat. Miami had enough, though, and eased in with a victory to re-take the number one seed position in the Eastern Conference. Let us do...
2) He's young, he's talented, he's black, he's got a sweet afro - but most of all, Nick Young lights up Dwyane Wade - gave him 38 more tonight. Little known fact, though: young, talented, black men who light up Dwyane Wade hate to get, ummm, re-lit back by the more talented, more blacker, actual Dwyane Wade...or something...Dee Dub gave him 41, on 18-27! And he missed 6 free throws! 18 in the first four minutes of the second quarter! That's 75 points in 24 hours for Dwyane - just another week of work.
3) Okay, last night was something of a nadir for Chris Bosh. He shot 1-18 from the floor. He allowed multiple layups at the rim with minimal effort. He displayed all the urgency of a desk lamp. I received an email from a dude who claimed he tried to choke himself on a slice of pizza midway through the third quarter, just so he wouldn't have to watch Bosh play any more. Okay - I sent it to myself...Early in the game, Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino said that just because had played poorly in Chicago, Bosh "wasn't going to change the way he plays." Ummm - not sure that was a great idea - I'd try to change it up a little after a 1-18 night...But he's a professional, he's a good player - it was all set up for a big bounce back game tonight, right? Right! It was set-up for that - but it didn't happen! Instead, he was dreadful again. Tentative, drifted, defended with passion only in short bursts. Spo tried to get him touches from different spots on the floor, but he just doesn't look confident right now. Dwyane and LeBron are guys who always play with confidence - they do what they do, regardless of outcomes. Chris isn't that guy, and he is suddenly in a crisis. Scored 15 on 5-12, with 8 rebounds, but even that sounds better than it was. Dwyane and LeBron need to boost him right now - I think sometimes they expect him to fend for himself, because they always fend for themselves. But he isn't as good as they are, or as tough-minded as they are, and as odd as it sounds, they need to help him fight his battles, help him get going. Because for them to get where they want to be at some point over the next couple of years - the finals - he is going to have to get tougher. And just because he isn't tough now, doesn't mean he can't get tougher. You know who they used to say wasn't tough enough? Two-time reigning NBA champ Pau Gasol! You know who else? Hosni Mubarak! And look at those guys now!
4)Any time a new player comes to your team, even a very famous player like LeBron James, we learn things about him that you can’t learn from seeing him play just four or five times a year. You learn things about his actual game, and other aspects of his overall oeuvre. For instance, about LeBron’s game we have learned: it isn’t the high-flying, slam-dunking freak show that we see on highlight montages of him. It is methodical, inexorable, and efficient. He is stubborn – there seems to be a minimum number of dribbles and long jumpers from a half-step inside the three point line (the worst shot in basketball) that he is required to take every game, come Hell or high water. But there is a night in, night out consistency to his play that no other player in the NBA remotely approaches: he is an efficient, high volume scorer every night. He organizes the offense, getting everyone their requisite touches, every night. He is a volume rebounder every night. He defends capably every night. There are no nights off, no real nights where you say, “Ahh, it’s just one of those nights, he just doesn’t have it.” He always has it. It comes so easy, that you always think he can do more, and it can be frustrating. On the other hand, it is so much more than any other player produces nightly, that there is no real basis for comparison. He is the most productive player in the league, and it isn’t even close. He is a freak. A methodical, unimaginative freak – but a freak nonetheless. That’s interesting. But just as interesting are the things you learn about LeBron that don’t have anything to do with his basketball play. All accounts paint him as polite and easy to deal with in the locker room. Numerous players have also cited him as the funniest player in the locker room – which is amazing because his “interview persona” takes the same methodical approach his on court play does. He wears giant headphones in the tunnels of arenas walking into the game. There is nothing – nothing - he loves more than being the first player to sit down on the bench for a timeout – it is the most aggressive part of his personality. On his Twitter account, he loves to exhort people to “Let’s Go!” Last night, we gleaned a new nugget: getting to ready to check back in after his customary beginning-of-the-second-quarter rest on the bench, he stood up, and stripped off in succession: a warmup jacket, then a white long-sleeve t-shirt, then another white long-sleeve t-shirt, to get down to his jersey. That’s four layers! Impressive! I thought I was cool for going Tyreke Evans “hood up” in Connecticut, but I’m going to try out this layering – how many white J.Crew v-neck t-shirts do you think I can get on my body at one time?
5) This game was boring, so I need to take this space to address one thing about last night’s game against Chicago. Apparently we had a Bulls fan read the blog and he wrote in to complain that “you didn’t give the Bulls enough credit for last night’s win.” Also, predictably didn’t like it when I called Bulls center Joakim Noah “one of the prettiest gals in the NBA,” or declared him “a bust.” Chicago dude, I don’t know how much of this blog you have read, but we are coming off a months-long sabbatical due to a borderline nervous breakdown, and to be honest, even at our best, we aren’t exactly basketballreference.com. Bulls are awesome. I love Joakim Noah – I think after Dwight Howard he is the next best center in the NBA, and he is obviously isn’t a bust – that’s an old Fake Steven A. Smith joke contained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvJGghOuFlQ. And, to be fair, he does have lovely flowing locks. I would not be shocked – at all – if the Bulls won the championship this year. Don’t want to lose our Chicago readers. Or reader.
6) Big news at Dos Minutos International Headquarters: The Captain is several days into a stellar-looking beard. Rugged! Today someone breathlessly compared him to a still-alive Steve McQueen. Okay – it was me…Don’t know exactly what is troubling The Cap, but I would urge him to remember that: it’s okay to have feelings; it’s okay to reach out for help to talk about those feelings; but it is even better to grow a troubled white man’s beard! Do it, Ryan-Gosling-in-The-Notebook - “It wasn’t over when you left.” “It’s STILL not over!” Yeaaaahhhh! We’ll keep you all posted!
Sunday night: in Miami vs the New Look Knicks! My Melo! The Garden is buzzing, Miami is buzzing, it is like the 90's all over again, but without fighting...so far! C u thn!
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1) Bounce back night on the day after a tough loss to Chicago. And, looooook here, just what the doctor ordered: the Washington Wizards, coming into the game with a 1-27 record on the road. Ahhhhhh, that's more like it. Wizards hung tough behind blur-ish rookie point guard John Wall (24 with 12 dimes) and an unconscious shooting night from Nick Young (38 points on 19 shots), who always lights up the Heat. Miami had enough, though, and eased in with a victory to re-take the number one seed position in the Eastern Conference. Let us do...
2) He's young, he's talented, he's black, he's got a sweet afro - but most of all, Nick Young lights up Dwyane Wade - gave him 38 more tonight. Little known fact, though: young, talented, black men who light up Dwyane Wade hate to get, ummm, re-lit back by the more talented, more blacker, actual Dwyane Wade...or something...Dee Dub gave him 41, on 18-27! And he missed 6 free throws! 18 in the first four minutes of the second quarter! That's 75 points in 24 hours for Dwyane - just another week of work.
3) Okay, last night was something of a nadir for Chris Bosh. He shot 1-18 from the floor. He allowed multiple layups at the rim with minimal effort. He displayed all the urgency of a desk lamp. I received an email from a dude who claimed he tried to choke himself on a slice of pizza midway through the third quarter, just so he wouldn't have to watch Bosh play any more. Okay - I sent it to myself...Early in the game, Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino said that just because had played poorly in Chicago, Bosh "wasn't going to change the way he plays." Ummm - not sure that was a great idea - I'd try to change it up a little after a 1-18 night...But he's a professional, he's a good player - it was all set up for a big bounce back game tonight, right? Right! It was set-up for that - but it didn't happen! Instead, he was dreadful again. Tentative, drifted, defended with passion only in short bursts. Spo tried to get him touches from different spots on the floor, but he just doesn't look confident right now. Dwyane and LeBron are guys who always play with confidence - they do what they do, regardless of outcomes. Chris isn't that guy, and he is suddenly in a crisis. Scored 15 on 5-12, with 8 rebounds, but even that sounds better than it was. Dwyane and LeBron need to boost him right now - I think sometimes they expect him to fend for himself, because they always fend for themselves. But he isn't as good as they are, or as tough-minded as they are, and as odd as it sounds, they need to help him fight his battles, help him get going. Because for them to get where they want to be at some point over the next couple of years - the finals - he is going to have to get tougher. And just because he isn't tough now, doesn't mean he can't get tougher. You know who they used to say wasn't tough enough? Two-time reigning NBA champ Pau Gasol! You know who else? Hosni Mubarak! And look at those guys now!
4)Any time a new player comes to your team, even a very famous player like LeBron James, we learn things about him that you can’t learn from seeing him play just four or five times a year. You learn things about his actual game, and other aspects of his overall oeuvre. For instance, about LeBron’s game we have learned: it isn’t the high-flying, slam-dunking freak show that we see on highlight montages of him. It is methodical, inexorable, and efficient. He is stubborn – there seems to be a minimum number of dribbles and long jumpers from a half-step inside the three point line (the worst shot in basketball) that he is required to take every game, come Hell or high water. But there is a night in, night out consistency to his play that no other player in the NBA remotely approaches: he is an efficient, high volume scorer every night. He organizes the offense, getting everyone their requisite touches, every night. He is a volume rebounder every night. He defends capably every night. There are no nights off, no real nights where you say, “Ahh, it’s just one of those nights, he just doesn’t have it.” He always has it. It comes so easy, that you always think he can do more, and it can be frustrating. On the other hand, it is so much more than any other player produces nightly, that there is no real basis for comparison. He is the most productive player in the league, and it isn’t even close. He is a freak. A methodical, unimaginative freak – but a freak nonetheless. That’s interesting. But just as interesting are the things you learn about LeBron that don’t have anything to do with his basketball play. All accounts paint him as polite and easy to deal with in the locker room. Numerous players have also cited him as the funniest player in the locker room – which is amazing because his “interview persona” takes the same methodical approach his on court play does. He wears giant headphones in the tunnels of arenas walking into the game. There is nothing – nothing - he loves more than being the first player to sit down on the bench for a timeout – it is the most aggressive part of his personality. On his Twitter account, he loves to exhort people to “Let’s Go!” Last night, we gleaned a new nugget: getting to ready to check back in after his customary beginning-of-the-second-quarter rest on the bench, he stood up, and stripped off in succession: a warmup jacket, then a white long-sleeve t-shirt, then another white long-sleeve t-shirt, to get down to his jersey. That’s four layers! Impressive! I thought I was cool for going Tyreke Evans “hood up” in Connecticut, but I’m going to try out this layering – how many white J.Crew v-neck t-shirts do you think I can get on my body at one time?
5) This game was boring, so I need to take this space to address one thing about last night’s game against Chicago. Apparently we had a Bulls fan read the blog and he wrote in to complain that “you didn’t give the Bulls enough credit for last night’s win.” Also, predictably didn’t like it when I called Bulls center Joakim Noah “one of the prettiest gals in the NBA,” or declared him “a bust.” Chicago dude, I don’t know how much of this blog you have read, but we are coming off a months-long sabbatical due to a borderline nervous breakdown, and to be honest, even at our best, we aren’t exactly basketballreference.com. Bulls are awesome. I love Joakim Noah – I think after Dwight Howard he is the next best center in the NBA, and he is obviously isn’t a bust – that’s an old Fake Steven A. Smith joke contained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvJGghOuFlQ. And, to be fair, he does have lovely flowing locks. I would not be shocked – at all – if the Bulls won the championship this year. Don’t want to lose our Chicago readers. Or reader.
6) Big news at Dos Minutos International Headquarters: The Captain is several days into a stellar-looking beard. Rugged! Today someone breathlessly compared him to a still-alive Steve McQueen. Okay – it was me…Don’t know exactly what is troubling The Cap, but I would urge him to remember that: it’s okay to have feelings; it’s okay to reach out for help to talk about those feelings; but it is even better to grow a troubled white man’s beard! Do it, Ryan-Gosling-in-The-Notebook - “It wasn’t over when you left.” “It’s STILL not over!” Yeaaaahhhh! We’ll keep you all posted!
Sunday night: in Miami vs the New Look Knicks! My Melo! The Garden is buzzing, Miami is buzzing, it is like the 90's all over again, but without fighting...so far! C u thn!
-----
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Bulls 93 Heat 89
6 Thoughts
1) Tough loss. Excruciating loss. Dwyane was good. LeBron was better. They hounded Chicago star, and MVP favorite, Derrick Rose, into a tough shooting night. But on the biggest possession of the game, Rose drove left with LeBron on him, Dwyane took two steps off Luol Deng in the corner to deter Rose's drive, Rose hit Deng, Deng ripped it, and Miami left Chicago with a discouraging loss. Let's go. Blah.
2) Look: I've seen a lot of good people play a lot of bad basketball games...but nothing like this...Oh My Bosh!!! Early in the game, Chris Bosh drove left, took a bump from Carlos Boozer, didn't finish, didn't get a call, and the ball went out of bounds, retained by Miami. They inbounded to Bosh, he drove in between Boozer and Joakim Noah (one of the best looking gals in the league), and got his shot blocked - "check please!" That was it for him. Bosh was d.u.n. Took his game back out to the perimeter - you know, where it's safe - whereupon the ball somehow repeatedly sought him out, over and over again, like Oreos to Oprah. And he missed a jumper. And he missed a jumper. And he missed a jumper. And- you got it now, right? Look, anyone can go 1-18 in a game. Actually, no they can't, BECAUSE YOUR COACH WOULD YAK YOU!!! Spo - Yak the kid! SPO!!!! Worse than the 1-18, though? The absolutely passive effort level. Late in the first half, Luol Deng caught the ball at the three point line, lined up a three. LeBron ran him off the shot, so Deng pulled the ball down and drove - not real fast cuz he's not real fast - from 26 feet and laid the ball gently into the basket while Bosh stared him down - politely - with his head under the rim. It was unconscionable. Everyone else - everyone else - had it dialed to about a 9; he settled in comfortably at about a zero point zero. I was embarrassed for him. I don't know if it was his fault; I don't know if it was Spo's fault; I feel like it might have been this blog's fault - can't be sure. But it was bad, very bad. Okay, let's move on, that was a lot of negativity!
3) You know how I know everyone else had it dialed in? Because LeBron and Wade both drew charges - on purpose - within 40 seconds of each other in the first half. You know how many times that has happened so far this season? Ummmmm - zero? Dwyane Wade: charges drawn in his eight year NBA career, over or under 10? I say under. Way under.
4) Best moment of the game? Easily: first quarter on a run out, Dwyane Wade steamed down the left wing with the ball, suddenly slammed on the brakes, and dropped the ball to a thundering Erick Dampier in the lane for a one giant step, tomahawk crusher, and the foul, which he crisply backspun into the basket!!! Screen that, Joakim Noah: I declare you a bust!!!
5) Another national game, another night off for Eric, Tony, and Jax, another night on for the mealy-mouthed, recently non-minted Hall of Famer Reggie Miller. How he got the job, I don't know - seems pleasant enough, I guess. Used the 'word' "humbleness," when we think he meant "humility." Called a "gimme" a "give me." Really - you played in the NBA for the better part of two decades, and you don't know it's a "gimme?" Really? Best of all was during a highlight when he said that Dwyane "tried to maneuver through three Bull defender," as if "defender" was both singular and plural, like "caribou." Actually - I like that one: remind me to keep using that myself! "Instead of going big, the Heat opted to go small, and space the floor with more shooter!" Yeah, Reggie Miller, I like it!
6) Ok, thanks for all the emails welcoming me back. Most people think that me going to therapy was one of my little make-it-ups, but no, it is true. But if you don't believe me, that's ok, because everything is ok! That's what my therapist says. One reader was like, "Glad to have you back - I could tell you were a little rusty." Thanks! 'Preciate it! I got another announcement. When Dwyane goes, I'm done. When he leaves the Heat, I stop watching basketball with any regularity. Why? First of all, I love to retire from things. About a decade ago, I retired from team sports, like, rec leagues and what-not. Then I retired from playing racquetball with my friend, then I retired from my friend with whom I played racquetball, and we aren't friends anymore. At one point I retired from eating bread, although I have softened on that a little. Retiring is awesome. I love going out on top: "Hey, I'm not going to taste a nine grain wheat any better than this - I'm laaaaater!" Second of all, I was watching the Connecticut basketball game right before the Heat game (the dreaded back-to-back loss), and all of a sudden I looked at M.Minutos and, way too excitedly, exclaimed: "Hey, that's former NBA ref Sean Corbin reffing this UConn game!" And it was...Let's just say that if you know that, you know you are watching too much basketball. So when Dwyane's done; I'm done...
Well, if we can recover from this deboshcle, we'll be back tomorrow night for a game against the Bullets. La-ter!
-----
1) Tough loss. Excruciating loss. Dwyane was good. LeBron was better. They hounded Chicago star, and MVP favorite, Derrick Rose, into a tough shooting night. But on the biggest possession of the game, Rose drove left with LeBron on him, Dwyane took two steps off Luol Deng in the corner to deter Rose's drive, Rose hit Deng, Deng ripped it, and Miami left Chicago with a discouraging loss. Let's go. Blah.
2) Look: I've seen a lot of good people play a lot of bad basketball games...but nothing like this...Oh My Bosh!!! Early in the game, Chris Bosh drove left, took a bump from Carlos Boozer, didn't finish, didn't get a call, and the ball went out of bounds, retained by Miami. They inbounded to Bosh, he drove in between Boozer and Joakim Noah (one of the best looking gals in the league), and got his shot blocked - "check please!" That was it for him. Bosh was d.u.n. Took his game back out to the perimeter - you know, where it's safe - whereupon the ball somehow repeatedly sought him out, over and over again, like Oreos to Oprah. And he missed a jumper. And he missed a jumper. And he missed a jumper. And- you got it now, right? Look, anyone can go 1-18 in a game. Actually, no they can't, BECAUSE YOUR COACH WOULD YAK YOU!!! Spo - Yak the kid! SPO!!!! Worse than the 1-18, though? The absolutely passive effort level. Late in the first half, Luol Deng caught the ball at the three point line, lined up a three. LeBron ran him off the shot, so Deng pulled the ball down and drove - not real fast cuz he's not real fast - from 26 feet and laid the ball gently into the basket while Bosh stared him down - politely - with his head under the rim. It was unconscionable. Everyone else - everyone else - had it dialed to about a 9; he settled in comfortably at about a zero point zero. I was embarrassed for him. I don't know if it was his fault; I don't know if it was Spo's fault; I feel like it might have been this blog's fault - can't be sure. But it was bad, very bad. Okay, let's move on, that was a lot of negativity!
3) You know how I know everyone else had it dialed in? Because LeBron and Wade both drew charges - on purpose - within 40 seconds of each other in the first half. You know how many times that has happened so far this season? Ummmmm - zero? Dwyane Wade: charges drawn in his eight year NBA career, over or under 10? I say under. Way under.
4) Best moment of the game? Easily: first quarter on a run out, Dwyane Wade steamed down the left wing with the ball, suddenly slammed on the brakes, and dropped the ball to a thundering Erick Dampier in the lane for a one giant step, tomahawk crusher, and the foul, which he crisply backspun into the basket!!! Screen that, Joakim Noah: I declare you a bust!!!
5) Another national game, another night off for Eric, Tony, and Jax, another night on for the mealy-mouthed, recently non-minted Hall of Famer Reggie Miller. How he got the job, I don't know - seems pleasant enough, I guess. Used the 'word' "humbleness," when we think he meant "humility." Called a "gimme" a "give me." Really - you played in the NBA for the better part of two decades, and you don't know it's a "gimme?" Really? Best of all was during a highlight when he said that Dwyane "tried to maneuver through three Bull defender," as if "defender" was both singular and plural, like "caribou." Actually - I like that one: remind me to keep using that myself! "Instead of going big, the Heat opted to go small, and space the floor with more shooter!" Yeah, Reggie Miller, I like it!
6) Ok, thanks for all the emails welcoming me back. Most people think that me going to therapy was one of my little make-it-ups, but no, it is true. But if you don't believe me, that's ok, because everything is ok! That's what my therapist says. One reader was like, "Glad to have you back - I could tell you were a little rusty." Thanks! 'Preciate it! I got another announcement. When Dwyane goes, I'm done. When he leaves the Heat, I stop watching basketball with any regularity. Why? First of all, I love to retire from things. About a decade ago, I retired from team sports, like, rec leagues and what-not. Then I retired from playing racquetball with my friend, then I retired from my friend with whom I played racquetball, and we aren't friends anymore. At one point I retired from eating bread, although I have softened on that a little. Retiring is awesome. I love going out on top: "Hey, I'm not going to taste a nine grain wheat any better than this - I'm laaaaater!" Second of all, I was watching the Connecticut basketball game right before the Heat game (the dreaded back-to-back loss), and all of a sudden I looked at M.Minutos and, way too excitedly, exclaimed: "Hey, that's former NBA ref Sean Corbin reffing this UConn game!" And it was...Let's just say that if you know that, you know you are watching too much basketball. So when Dwyane's done; I'm done...
Well, if we can recover from this deboshcle, we'll be back tomorrow night for a game against the Bullets. La-ter!
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Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Heat 117 Kings 97
6 Thoughts
1) ...aaannnnndddd, we're back! What? Where have we been? Long story - more on that down in #6. Our last post was November 13th - that's like three and a half months ago. Jesus- I knew that game schedule I printed up off the interweb was wrong! Anyways, we are not even going to recap the chunk of the season we missed because we have already done it in emails to most people who read this blog, or at least the ones who know anything about basketball, which isn't that many of you, frankly, and also because it would take a super-long time. Miami was 6-4 when we left off, and feeling like a disaster; after tonight's game, 42-15, so things are looking a lot, you know, better. That should suffice as a recap. Let's just pretend we never left off, shall we? So, without no further ado: Let's Go!
2) The Sacramento Kings, not the most talented group in the world to begin with, came to the game in Miami without talented, but mouth-breathing, and over-over-over shooting lead guard Tyreke Evans, left behind in Sacramento with foot problems (over Christmas, in Connecticut, I had to go "hood up" on a parka to keep the biting cold off of my delicate neck, severely limiting my peripheral vision - "Look, I'm like Tyreke Evans," I pointed out to M.Minutos). Noting Evans' absence, Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino related that he once considered chopping one of his own feet clear off just to avoid having to make a road trip to Sacramento...just kidding, he loves Sacramento, although he and Eric Reid sounded just a little bit too happy that the Kings are considering relocating to Anaheim next year. When Evans stayed in California, this game was pretty much over. Miami led by 19 after one, it wasn't even really that close, and it didn't get no closer...
3) Out of the Miami starting lineup: Zydrunas Ilgauskas. None too soon since he had become the Heat player most likely to cause a self-inflicted serious head wound in Casa Dos out of frustration with his play. In to the Miami starting lineup: the Screen du Jour, Erick Dampier. Seeking out screening opportunities all over the court. Constantly. Like, all the time...
4) Sacramento rookie DeMarcus Cousins is, how shall we say this, a little bit "spirited." He fights with coaches. He fights with teammates. He fought with his college coach. He is 7 feet tall and takes a ton of bad jump shots. He has the perpetual look of a man who was sitting alone in an empty subway car, and then you entered the subway car, looked around at all the empty seats, and then walked over and sat down right next to him. He is wearing his headband backwards. I mean, he's doin' it all. Eric Reid, in describing him, called him "a very passionate man." Yes, for a borderline psychopath. He also loves fine wines from Provence, Chinese architecture, and slapping small dogs. Love that DeMarcus Cousins - missed his first 8 shots on his way to a solid 3-14 in 28 minutes.
5) The game, as we said, was super-boring, so there was a lot of time to talk about other things for Eric and Tony. You would imagine that they enjoyed All-Star Weekend, right? Especially the dunk contest, right? I mean, Blake Griffin dunked over a car! Oh, no - they did not love that: "I didn't like it at all," grouched Eric, "the dunk contest is getting out of hand when you start bringing props like cars out there. The NBA needs to reel it in and get back to emphasizing the art of dunking..." Wow. You know who loved it, though? DeMarcus Cousins.
6) So. Where. Have. I. Been? Well, it's like this - in late fall I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Why? Because I am an aging angsty white boy - that's what we do! The why is not really important. What is important is how I'm dealing with my problems: therapy! Boy, I love therapy. One hour a week just talking about myself: Love It! There are three things that I especially enjoy about my therapy sessions: 1) Swearing is allowed; 2) My therapist has taught me that feelings are okay. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be happy. Everything - every thing - is a-ok!...More importantly, in my case, it is also okay to not have feelings! "I don't feel like I have empathy for other people." "Who says you have to have empathy for other people?" "Great!"; 3) Every Tuesday night, after my hour, I drive home on Military Trail in West Palm Beach, making a quick stop at a convenience store at the corner of Military and Belvedere to get a pop for the drive home while I am reveling in my lack of empathy - 'cuz it's okay. I drive by that corner all the time - it is only five miles from my office - but I have never stopped there until I started my therapy. Jeepers Creepers, that's a suspect freakin' place. It doesn't look bad, but it feels bad, I can just feel the danger around that corner - every person on that corner is unsavory, every time I get out of my car, I feel there is a thirty percent chance I'm getting mugged, even though I'm a powerful 6'1", 180 pounds. The dude who works at the counter looks like an Indian Mr. Grinch, and he is constantly in some sort of skirmish with a "customer," tonight a young woman who claimed that she should be allowed to write him a check for a pack of cigarettes because she left her wallet at home, although she, you know, remembered her checkbook. Last week I was standing in line to pay for my pop, I was like second in line, and there were like four people behind me, and this scruffy black gentleman comes in the door, sizes up the line, then comes over to me, hands me a crumpled up dollar and goes, "Bruh, can you just get me a Philly Blunt?" I didn't know what to do - I didn't want to be unhelpful (even though I lack empathy for others), but I could also feel the eyes of the four people in line behind me boring into the back of my skull. Also, I don't really know what a Philly Blunt is - I mean, I have heard of it because Marky Mark is always rapping about it on my- I mean M.Minutos' - ipod, and I assume it is some sort of cigar, but I'm not too sure. By the way, I was the whitest person in the store, by far. So I just kind of say, "yeah," and take the dollar, and then I get up to the front of the line, and put my pop on the counter and tell Indian Grinch, "May I also have a Philly Blunt, please," and he's like, "What flavor," and I'm like, "A Philly Blunt," and he is like, "What. Flavor." And I'm like, "oh," and I just turn to the gentleman waiting over by the door for whom I'm making the purchase, and he is like, "Any flavor, it don't matter," so I turn back to Indian Grinch, and I'm like, "What flavors do you have," and the four people in line behind me make a sound like this: "Uhhhhnmnnfffffckkkkkk..." Finally, Indian Grinch just shoves one small cigar-looking thing on to the counter in front of me, goes, "Peach?" and I look over at my patron in the doorway, and he nods, and I say "Ok," and pay for it, but in my mind I'm thinking, "Peach - kind of faggy..." Anyways, therapy is pretty awesome. I might not be making a lot of progress, technically speaking, but I'm feeling a whole lot better.
See you Thursday night, we will hopefully be continuing to do what we do...
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1) ...aaannnnndddd, we're back! What? Where have we been? Long story - more on that down in #6. Our last post was November 13th - that's like three and a half months ago. Jesus- I knew that game schedule I printed up off the interweb was wrong! Anyways, we are not even going to recap the chunk of the season we missed because we have already done it in emails to most people who read this blog, or at least the ones who know anything about basketball, which isn't that many of you, frankly, and also because it would take a super-long time. Miami was 6-4 when we left off, and feeling like a disaster; after tonight's game, 42-15, so things are looking a lot, you know, better. That should suffice as a recap. Let's just pretend we never left off, shall we? So, without no further ado: Let's Go!
2) The Sacramento Kings, not the most talented group in the world to begin with, came to the game in Miami without talented, but mouth-breathing, and over-over-over shooting lead guard Tyreke Evans, left behind in Sacramento with foot problems (over Christmas, in Connecticut, I had to go "hood up" on a parka to keep the biting cold off of my delicate neck, severely limiting my peripheral vision - "Look, I'm like Tyreke Evans," I pointed out to M.Minutos). Noting Evans' absence, Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino related that he once considered chopping one of his own feet clear off just to avoid having to make a road trip to Sacramento...just kidding, he loves Sacramento, although he and Eric Reid sounded just a little bit too happy that the Kings are considering relocating to Anaheim next year. When Evans stayed in California, this game was pretty much over. Miami led by 19 after one, it wasn't even really that close, and it didn't get no closer...
3) Out of the Miami starting lineup: Zydrunas Ilgauskas. None too soon since he had become the Heat player most likely to cause a self-inflicted serious head wound in Casa Dos out of frustration with his play. In to the Miami starting lineup: the Screen du Jour, Erick Dampier. Seeking out screening opportunities all over the court. Constantly. Like, all the time...
4) Sacramento rookie DeMarcus Cousins is, how shall we say this, a little bit "spirited." He fights with coaches. He fights with teammates. He fought with his college coach. He is 7 feet tall and takes a ton of bad jump shots. He has the perpetual look of a man who was sitting alone in an empty subway car, and then you entered the subway car, looked around at all the empty seats, and then walked over and sat down right next to him. He is wearing his headband backwards. I mean, he's doin' it all. Eric Reid, in describing him, called him "a very passionate man." Yes, for a borderline psychopath. He also loves fine wines from Provence, Chinese architecture, and slapping small dogs. Love that DeMarcus Cousins - missed his first 8 shots on his way to a solid 3-14 in 28 minutes.
5) The game, as we said, was super-boring, so there was a lot of time to talk about other things for Eric and Tony. You would imagine that they enjoyed All-Star Weekend, right? Especially the dunk contest, right? I mean, Blake Griffin dunked over a car! Oh, no - they did not love that: "I didn't like it at all," grouched Eric, "the dunk contest is getting out of hand when you start bringing props like cars out there. The NBA needs to reel it in and get back to emphasizing the art of dunking..." Wow. You know who loved it, though? DeMarcus Cousins.
6) So. Where. Have. I. Been? Well, it's like this - in late fall I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Why? Because I am an aging angsty white boy - that's what we do! The why is not really important. What is important is how I'm dealing with my problems: therapy! Boy, I love therapy. One hour a week just talking about myself: Love It! There are three things that I especially enjoy about my therapy sessions: 1) Swearing is allowed; 2) My therapist has taught me that feelings are okay. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be happy. Everything - every thing - is a-ok!...More importantly, in my case, it is also okay to not have feelings! "I don't feel like I have empathy for other people." "Who says you have to have empathy for other people?" "Great!"; 3) Every Tuesday night, after my hour, I drive home on Military Trail in West Palm Beach, making a quick stop at a convenience store at the corner of Military and Belvedere to get a pop for the drive home while I am reveling in my lack of empathy - 'cuz it's okay. I drive by that corner all the time - it is only five miles from my office - but I have never stopped there until I started my therapy. Jeepers Creepers, that's a suspect freakin' place. It doesn't look bad, but it feels bad, I can just feel the danger around that corner - every person on that corner is unsavory, every time I get out of my car, I feel there is a thirty percent chance I'm getting mugged, even though I'm a powerful 6'1", 180 pounds. The dude who works at the counter looks like an Indian Mr. Grinch, and he is constantly in some sort of skirmish with a "customer," tonight a young woman who claimed that she should be allowed to write him a check for a pack of cigarettes because she left her wallet at home, although she, you know, remembered her checkbook. Last week I was standing in line to pay for my pop, I was like second in line, and there were like four people behind me, and this scruffy black gentleman comes in the door, sizes up the line, then comes over to me, hands me a crumpled up dollar and goes, "Bruh, can you just get me a Philly Blunt?" I didn't know what to do - I didn't want to be unhelpful (even though I lack empathy for others), but I could also feel the eyes of the four people in line behind me boring into the back of my skull. Also, I don't really know what a Philly Blunt is - I mean, I have heard of it because Marky Mark is always rapping about it on my- I mean M.Minutos' - ipod, and I assume it is some sort of cigar, but I'm not too sure. By the way, I was the whitest person in the store, by far. So I just kind of say, "yeah," and take the dollar, and then I get up to the front of the line, and put my pop on the counter and tell Indian Grinch, "May I also have a Philly Blunt, please," and he's like, "What flavor," and I'm like, "A Philly Blunt," and he is like, "What. Flavor." And I'm like, "oh," and I just turn to the gentleman waiting over by the door for whom I'm making the purchase, and he is like, "Any flavor, it don't matter," so I turn back to Indian Grinch, and I'm like, "What flavors do you have," and the four people in line behind me make a sound like this: "Uhhhhnmnnfffffckkkkkk..." Finally, Indian Grinch just shoves one small cigar-looking thing on to the counter in front of me, goes, "Peach?" and I look over at my patron in the doorway, and he nods, and I say "Ok," and pay for it, but in my mind I'm thinking, "Peach - kind of faggy..." Anyways, therapy is pretty awesome. I might not be making a lot of progress, technically speaking, but I'm feeling a whole lot better.
See you Thursday night, we will hopefully be continuing to do what we do...
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