Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Heat 115 Celtics 111 ot Heat lead 2-0

6 Thoughts

1) How long was that game?  Five hours?  Six hours?  How many free throws did Miami miss?  35?  Only 16?  Really?  31-47 from the line?  After a slow start in the first half, getting down 15, Miami worked their way back into the game in the third quarter, had several chances to put the game away, and kept missing free throws.  KJ James missed 6, and Dwyane Wade and Almario Vernard Chalmers each missed 4.  James made only 7 of 20 shots, and missed two fairly easy shots to win the game in regulation.  Rajon Rondo had one of the all-time freaky games, throwing in basket after basket like some kind of semi-conscious refugee from Middle Earth.  And, yet, somehow, the Heat dug it out at home, and take a 2-0 series lead to Boston.  Ohhhh-ohhhhh, that had to hurt, Celtics!  Let's GOOOOO!!!

2) Holy mackerel, how did nobody know that Mario "Emcee" Chalmers' real name is Almario Vernard Chalmers?  For all the nasty things I've said about the national tv networks broadcasting Heat games over the years, for once they have scooped Sunsports - I've never been happier than when ABC's first half graphic finally revealed his true identity!  And Almario Vernard was huuuuge!  While Dwyane and KJ were making only 1 of their first 10 shots, and the Celtics were making 16 of their first 24, including 11 in a row to take a 15 point lead in the second quarter, Almario Vernard made 3 triples, including back-to-backers down 15, and scored 17 points in the first half to keep Miami in contact, down 7 at the break.  He finished with 22 points, 6 assists, and 4 rebounds.  He also made one of the biggest plays in overtime: with Miami up 2 with a little over a minute to go, Kevin Garnett caught the ball on the block and, with the Heat scrambling, tried to slip a pass to a cutter to the front of the rim, but Almario darted in and stole the ball, setting up the game-winning play (more on that play in #3).  Before the game, Great Friend of the Blog Plumber reported that he had just heard Magic Johnson predict that Chalmers would be the key player of Game 2.  I knew that boded well for Miami - just as I read Plumber's text, Dwyane Wade was shooting pre-game jumpers and Chalmers happened to wander across the court and inadvertently bump into him, knocking one of his shots awry.  That's Almario Vernard Chalmers: razor-sharp, on his game, and fouling people even in pre-game warmups!

3) Play of the game: many, many candidates.  There was the sick KJ block of a Paul Pierce layup which ignited an electric Wade three point play as Miami made its third quarter run.  There was Chalmers' aforementioned steal.  There was Shane Battier's triple from the corner under duress to tie the game at 94 late in regulation.  There was a sweet KJ tip-in, and there were three huge Udonis Haslem baskets, including one Wade-drive-and-kick-to-open-UD-on-the-baseline-as-UD's-guy-helps-to-Wade-circa-2008-style!  But none were bigger than after Chalmers' steal, when Miami brought the ball down the court up 2 with about a minute to go in overtime, spread the floor, and Wade split a double-team, careened into the lane, and Kevin Garnett tried to help over to him.  Garnett (who earlier received a technical foul for swinging an elbow at former college Academic All-American James Jones) is, even at his age, one of the very best defenders in the league, but this time was late to the play, and he knew it.  He had no real chance to stop the shot, so recognizing that Miami had missed about 100 free throws in the game, he tried to give a foul on Dwyane.  Of course, being Kevin Garnett, the Granddaddy of Doucheball, he went up high, put one hand on Dwyane's elbow, and tried to hyper-extend it backwards, and another hand in his chest to try to shove him to the floor.  However, Dwyane, with his douchometer on high alert, sensed what was coming, and met Garnett's assault with a pre-emptive kick to the nether-region area, collapsing Garnett justtt enough to allow Dwyane to flip the ball up and into the basket as the referee called the foul...and Dwyane finally made a free throw!  Ballgame!  Meet douche-y force with douche-y force!

4) Rajon Rondo was positively unbelievable.  He made 16-24 shots, scored 44 points, and had 10 rebounds, and 8 assists. He's a non-shooter who made many. many jumpers, and even knocked down back-to-back deep garbage-time triples in the waning moments.  Use 'em all up, Rajon!  It was one of the best offensive games I've ever seen a guy play, honestly.  Rondo is, at best, a bit of a social deviant - there's at least a 5 percent chance he's the dude down in Miami eating peoples' faces off - but after the game, at his press conference, he stood tall.  Asked about a late call that went against him, a drive where he took a blow to the face but got non-called, he said, reflectively, "It's part of the game."  And it is.  Unless Dwyane or KJ get fouled driving to the basket late in a game - that's totally different, you absolutely have to call those fouls.  That's just common sense.

5) For two and a half quarters, it looked like this was the game where not having Chris Bosh was going to murder Miami.  Ronny Turiaf started, but was quickly replaced by Joel Anthony.  Boston, specifically Kevin Garnett, totally ignored those guys and jammed up the paint, trapped screen-and-rolls, and generally made life difficult for Dwyane and KJ, totally stagnating the Miami offense.  In 24 combined minutes, Turiaf and Joel made 1 out of 2 shots.  That's not exactly productive (although it is efficient!).  For most of the second half, Coach Spo decided to play Udonis Haslem at the center, switch all the screen-and-rolls, and rely on the team's general athleticism to turn the game into a scramble.  Haslem helped hold Kevin Garnett to a 6-18 night, even though Garnett was about 4 inches taller than anyone the Heat played in the second half.  In addition, UD contributed offensively - the three aforementioned monster baskets - and he finished with 13 points on 6-12, grabbed 11 rebounds (3 more than Garnett in 15 fewer minutes), and even had 3 assists - 2 on beautiful kickouts for triples.  Satisfying night for UD - it wasn't always pretty, but it was a classic dogged UD effort.

6) "Rock of Ages?"  Tom Cruise as a long-haired, chiseled-ab, hair-metal hobbit?  Of course!  When can I line up for that movie?...My five favorite hair-metal songs ever: 5) "Every Rose Has it Thorn" by Poison.  4) "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue.  3) "Don't Know What You Got Till Its Gone" by Cinderella. 2) "Girl, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away" by Motley Crue.  1) "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
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Whew!  Only 1 night off, then back at it Friday in Boston.  Go up there, try to get one, and then get back here to the land of the face-eaters!  If you need me before Friday, I'll be flagrant fouling O.Minutos in the front-yard, KG-style, then walking off the court before the game is over, like Paul Pierce!  Have a great day, hair-rockers!     
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Monday, May 28, 2012

Heat 93 Celtics 79 Heat lead 1-0

6 Thoughts

1) I mean, that's pretty much how this series is going to go: two extremely tough defensive teams are going to battle for every inch of space on the defensive end, and then, offensively, Miami is hoping the superior athletic playmaking of Dwyane Wade and KJ James is enough to overcome the superior ball movement and shooting of Boston.  Tonight was the blueprint for how Miami can win games in this series, even without Chris Bosh, who outplayed Boston's best player, Kevin Garnett, in last year's series.  Winning the first game of a series at home against a team which had to travel isn't a huge accomplishment, and neither team played particularly well, but we'll take it.  Have to be up for the fight against this Celtics team - it promises to be a long series...Let's go!

2) Again, this is how well KJ James is playing in the playoffs: he had 32 points on 13-22 shooting, a game-high 13 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 blocks, helped hold Paul Pierce to a 5-18 shooting night, and guarded Rajon Rondo during a key stretch of the game.  And you would say, "yeah, he was pretty good, not great, not 'A' KJ, but a solid 'B.'"  That's freaking crazy.  Dwyane Wade also showed up big in the second half after a quiet first two quarters, and finished with 22 points on 8-13 with 7 assists.  He ran the offense in the fourth quarter.  Early on, he pushed the lead to 15 with a sweet driving mid-air-change-to-the-left-hand layup, then a high screen-and-roll left-handed bullet pass off the dribble to a diving Joel Anthony for a dunk.  After Boston clawed back into contact under 5 minutes to go, he made another driving layup, then blocked a Rajon Rondo drive - from on the ball - then found a cutting KJ James for a foul to push the lead back to 16.  Ballgame.  Superstar games from KJ and Dwyane.

3) On the one hand, you would like to see the role players shoot it a little better: Miami created a lot of wide open jumpshots, mostly because Boston has trouble containing KJ and Dwyane off the bounce individually, but are extremely conscious about helping in the lane.  Guys were open all night, KJ and Dwyane found them, but the triples didn't go in.  Battier (2-9) and Chalmers (0-6) were the primary offenders on a night the Heat made only 5-25 threes.  But the role players did contribute in other ways: Battier scrapped his way to 10 rebounds, and 10 points, and Chalmers had 5 rebounds, 4 assists, and only 1 turnover (an alleyoop to KJ off the bottom of the backboard).  Mike Mil-lar scored 8 early points, and Joel Anthony had 6 rebounds and 2 blocks in 20 minutes.  Miami won the rebounding battle 48-33, and blocked 11 shots to Boston's 1.  As always, Miami just needs their role players to do something; KJ and Dwyane can do everything - if the role players do something to help, on good nights, those guys can fill in what's missing.   

4) Play of the game: Late in the third quarter, with Miami starting to inch away from Boston, Paul Pierce got trapped up at the top of the key in a double team by Shane Battier and Joel Anthony, two long-armed and feisty defenders.  Trying to extricate himself from the pressure, and already having picked up his dribble, Pierce reverse-pivoted back out towards halfcourt.  When Battier and Joel went with him, and he still wasn't clear to pass, Pierce simply switched pivot feet and pivoted backwards again - at one point it seemed the refs were just going to let him reverse-pivot all the way 65 down the court out of bounds.  Meanwhile, Battier and Joel stuck to him, and Pierce, tired of illegally retreating, tried to step up through the double, at which point Battier stuck his hand out and dislodged the ball, then beat Pierce to the floor to get to it first.  With Pierce looming over him, and Battier facing back towards his own defensive basket on his knees, patiently waiting for KJ or Dwyane to come get the ball, Mario Chalmers suddenly burst upcourt and as he passed Battier, Shane hit him with a little lookaway backhanded shovel pass, which Chalmers took in stride, and flewww...okay, bolted...okay, ran kind of fast; okay, went at Mario Chalmers' speed to the other end, which in this case was enough, and dropped the ball in the hoop for a 12 point lead.  Role players making plays.

5) This may not come as a surprise to anyone who has watched an NBA game involving the Celtics over the past 4 or 5 years, but they are a bit of a cantankerous bunch.  They like to elbow you in the back, their bread-and-butter offensive play is the illegal screen, and they complain endlessly to officials.  Here, in this blog, we like to call it "Doucheball," although we can't take credit for the term - some dude on twitter invented it when Jermaine O'Neal (of all people) took an unbelievably cheap body check on KJ James during a game last year during a Heat victory: "Celtics have reverted to their patented 'doucheball' style of play," the kid wrote.  It's not a pejorative term- it is meant to be descriptive only.  I have the utmost respect for how the Celtics compete on the basketball floor.  Let tonight's record reflect that the Celtics accumulated 2 technical fouls for arguing (Ray Allen and Doc Rivers), 1 for repeatedly slapping the ball away from the Heat on made Celtics' baskets so that the Heat couldn't speed up the pace of the game (most frequent offender: Kevin Garnett), and 1 when Rajon Rondo, after another made Boston basket, tried to "accidentally" bump Shane Battier back over the photographers seated on the floor behind the basket, and the referee happened to be standing right there watching him.  Oops.  After the game, Doc Rivers, who literally complains to the refs every trip up and down the court (let's be honest, he's a nice dude at heart - it's Garnett's influence), called it the worst, most undeserved technical foul he has ever received, which was ironic because the technical seemed like a cumulative "will you just shut the hell up for one trip" technical from the ref, yet here he was after the game, still complaining about it.  That being said, compared to the Pacers, who were intentionally going up high on KJ and Dwyane every chance they could, the Celtics kept their physical play within the general spirit of basketball, although after the game, Rajon Rondo, said that in the rest of the series, KJ and Dwyane "need to hit the deck."  Uh-oh...

6) Here's another depressing thing about getting older: like, when you are a kid, and they remake, say, Superman - we in the business like to call that a 'reboot' these days - to you, the kid, there is an "old, musty" Superman, then they make the new one, then we're all good, right?  We have the definitive Superman, we don't need any more Superman movies, ever.  But, then the longer you live, they keep 're-booting' the series, and you're like, "wait, what - we already have the definitive one of those, why are we making another one."  But the instant you say that - the instant you even think it - you know who that makes you?  Your dad!  Yikes.  Tonight I saw the preview for the new Spiderman movie - there's no Tobey Maguire!  And M.Minutos and I are looking at each other and we are both like, "where's Tobey Maguire" (not that either of us has seen any Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies - but it's the principle of the matter)?  Then we realize that the Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies probably started during, like, the Gulf War - our kids, our 8 and 10 year old, they don't even know who this "young whippersnapper" Tobey Maguire is!!!  Oh my heavens, so terrible getting old - for us, and Tobey Maguire!...In a related story, for the next Batman re-boot?  How about Ellen Degeneres as Batman?  She held a secret about her identity (kind of) for a long time; she's lithe; she's incredibly charismatic; she likes to wear black (it's slimming); and she probably hates crime.  For her Robin: Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad; and for Alfred the Butler, Tim Allen.  The end.
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Well, winning the first game is better than losing the first game, but everyone will feel a whole lot better if we can get Game Two Wednesday.  You have to figure this is a fair fight, and is ultimately a 6 or 7 game series one way or another - Miami beat Boston in 5 last year, but Bosh played, and Rondo was dinged up.  This year, the injuries favor Boston.  If you need me before then, I'll be continuing my preparations for M.Minutos big day: Friday is her 40th birthday!  And by "continuing my preparations," I mean, of course, "worrying about Game 2 of the Heat-Celtics series."  Hope everyone had a Happy Memorial Day!
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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Heat 105 Pacers 93 Heat win 4-2

6 Thoughts

1) Dwwwyyyyyyaaaannnnnneeeee Waaaaaaaaaaaaadddddeee!!!!!!!!!  He made jumpers!  He made runners!  He made floaters!  He even made free throws!  41 points on 17-25 from the floor, 10 rebounds - this was 2006 Finals MVP Dwyane Wade.  He: Took. The. Pacers. Apart.  Then gave the game ball to suspended Udonis Haslem (who hit Hansbrough for hitting Wade) on the plane ride home.  See ya, Pacers, yeahhh boyyy!  This series is over!  O-V-E-R!!!  Let's Go!

2) Dwyane Wade dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated.  But two role players stepped up and helped with huge plays of their own, especially in the third quarter when Miami turned a 2 point halftime deficit into a 10 point lead after three.  Mario "Emcee" Chalmers hit back-to-back threes early in the quarter, then fouled George Hill on a three, but jinxed him into missing 2 of the 3 free throws.  Then, in the final minute, up 4, Mike Mil-lar, who made 3 triples in the first half, caught a hit ahead pass in transition and drilled a 25 footer to go up 7, Miami got a defensive stop, then came back down, KJ James drove, drew defenders, then spit to Emcee, who knocked down his third triple of the quarter at the buzzer to put Miami up 10.  Chalmers made 3-4 threes for 15 points and 0 - zero! - turnovers, and Miller made 4-7 for 12.  Mil-lar's performance is made even more special by the fact that he can barely walk - watching him hobble up and down the court makes me groan.

3) In the series KJ James averaged 30 points per game on 50% shooting from the floor, 11 rebounds, 6 assists, and about 3 steals.  He was completely phenomenal on both ends of the floor.  I thought tonight he kind of breezed through the game expending only what effort he had to, which wasn't much since Wade was eviscerating the Pacers defense, but he still ended up with a 28-6-7 night, and put the game in the cooler with an unbelievable finish through a rough David West foul in the final moments, which, of course, went uncalled (welcome to KJ's life)...Meanwhile, the guy KJ took apart on the offensive end, Danny Granger, who talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, then removed himself from Game 5 when it started to get too physical, then talked, and talked, and talked, paused briefly to plead with the NBA to suspend UD for this game, then talked, and talked, and talked some more, averaged 13 points per game on 38% shooting, and "grabbed" 4.5 rebounds per night.  I think he is supposed to be the Pacers best player.  He was terrible, he got humiliated in this series.  I'd like to think he learned a lesson, but I suspect he didn't...and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked...Still talking... 

4) Play of the game: with Indiana desperately trying to stay in the game in the fourth quarter, a couple of bad Heat offensive possessions allowed the Pacers to claw from double digits down to within 5 with 8 minutes to go.  Another bad set saw Shane Battier catch the ball late in the shot clock behind the three point line, fake a shot, then drive down the lane (slowly, but still driving), draw defenders, then slip a crafty little pass to a cutting Joel Anthony who somehow snatched the ball with the two sticks of butter he calls hands and layed it in the basket as he was getting fouled by both Danny Granger and Roy Hibbert: three point play!  Crisis averted!  Ballgame!  Just how we drew it up!  Next, we are going to install some dribble handoff actions between Shane and Joel, and maybe let them play together at the guard spots a little bit!  Their talents have been under-utilized!  Battioke off-the-dribble to Joel - Good Lord!

5) Ahhh, that's a shame, Pacers.  They had a 2-1 lead in the series, and a 10 point halftime lead at home in Game 4, and somehow got beat badly three straight times, twice at home, tonight against a team missing two starters, to lose the series.  That's fairly pitiful.  Yet, never thought to shut the hell up a little, even after the series ended.  David West: "The series was there for the taking.  I just felt we got back on our heels the last three games."  The last three games?  The series was only six games long!  You thought you should have won a series in which you played poorly in 3 of the 6 games?  That's odd.  West had a great offensive game tonight, but was again a huge problem for the Pacers defensively because he is either unable or unwilling to defend a pick-and-roll properly - he kept turning Wade loose to the paint, giving him a free run at the slow-footed Roy Hibbert.  West scored 24, but he may have given up 34 - he's a very poor defensive player...Pacers coach, and noted liar, Frank Vogel: "I think we could have beat these guys if we had played our best, but we didn't play our best."  Genius.  "If we never, ever turned the ball over, and every shot we took went in, and every single shot Miami took missed and we secured the ensuing rebound, we definitely win this series."  I also liked that Granger and West, who mean-mugged all series long at Heat players, then when Udonis flattened Hansbrough like a buttermilk pancake in Game 5, neither one of them ever went near UD, both left the court without shaking hands after the series ended.  Class acts, those two,  Jesus, grow up. 

6) Link to Yahoo article online today: "Cell phone users like Obama; landline users prefer Romney." What? You have to be kidding me!  What were the odds that cell phones users would prefer Obama, while folks who still use landlines would favor Romney?  100%, or only 99.9%?  Here are some links to other Yahoo political polling articles from the past year or so:

"Guys who wear pleated dress slacks likely to power Romney effort in northeast."

"Voters who have at least even heard of an Ipad prefer Obama over Gingrich."

"Owners of above-ground pools would vote for Huckabee if he entered race."

"Men with overbearing female bosses are not big fans of Hilary Clinton, prefer anybody else on earth."

"North Florida man with hunting permit votes for Obama, but turns out it was a mistake."

"Biden supporters most likely to be alcoholics."

"Evening news watchers say Romney's their man."

"Gays love Obama; think Santorum is 'a douche.'"

"Lovers of fake pizza chains still believe Cain is electable."

"Obama slips ahead of Romney in crucial 'black guys who wear cardigan sweaters' demographic."

"No correlation found between voters with abnormally low i.q. scores and Michelle Bachman...yet."

"Guantanamo Bay prisoners again turn out overwhelmingly for Biden."

"Ron Paul widens lead with registered Republican college students who own bongs."

"Alaska and the Dakotas still major strongholds of Palin support."

"Indiana Pacers head coach Frank Vogel claims Obama approached him as potential V.P. replacement for Biden."
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We have a few nights off now - the Eastern Conference Finals will begin Monday night in Miami against the Boston Celtics.  I mean there is absolutely NO WAY the Celtics could possibly lose Game 7 on their home floor Saturday night to Elton Brand and the lowly Philadelphia Sixers!  That's impossible - that would be the biggest upset in the history of basketball!  It's positively unthinkable!  Celtics it is: this playoff run just got a whole lot douchier!  We'll see you on Monday night.  If you need me before then, I'll be showing O.Minutos film of Davd West trying to guard pick-and-rolls in this series: "O.Minutos, whatever you do, never do this!"  Happy long weekend, jackapples!
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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Heat 115 Pacers 83 Heat lead 3-2

6 Thoughts

1) Holy Pacquiao!  Things got phys-i-cal!  Flagrante!  Miami measured Indiana for about 20 minutes, then blew their doors off to go up 3-2.  Indiana coach Frank Vogel, a proven liar, has spent the entire series claiming the Heat are "floppers" - code for "soft."  But Miami wasn't soft tonight, and they weren't flopping - they were hitting!  Let's go!

2) Things got real at the beginning of the second quarter when Dwyane Wade drove to the rim, hung in the air, and Pacers power forward Tyler Hanbrough essentially punched him in the face, splitting Dwyane's eyebrow open.  It was borderline ejectable - the referees didn't eject him, gave him a Flagrant 1, which is two shots and the ball.  I think it was the correct call - I think context counts.  Hansbrough is rough and somewhat spastic, but not dirty.  The foul was too hard, but I think it fell shy of ejectable...Moments later, Hansbrough caught a ball on the wing, took one dribble to the rim, elevated, and Udonis Haslem leaped into the air and swung an overhanded double-karate chop at Hansbrough's face, sending him flying back to Chapel Hill, North Carolina.  It was absolutely ejectable - it was stunning that three referees could watch that play, talk it about it, and then decide, "ehh - I guess that's okay."  Again, context had to have saved him - since Hansbrough had just punched someone in the face trying a layup, I guess the refs decided to allow a little street justice - Flagrant 1 for UD...In the third quarter, KJ James drove to the rim and S.G. (Studio Gangster) Danny Granger grabbed him at the foul line by the arm and inexplicably spun him all the way around; a while later KJ drove and S.G. David West gave him an intentional shot in the head - no flagrants on either of those.  Welcome to KJ's life...Later, Mario Chalmers, of all people, gave a barely non-flagrant shot to Paul George on a dunk try, swinging an arm up high on George, which didn't get to George's face only because he blocked it with his arms...The knockout blow came in the fourth quarter, during garbage time, when Lance Stephenson, who has annoyed the Heat with his series-long yapping from the bench (where he is anchored), and who aggravated hackneyed sportswriters everywhere who demand players "show class" when he gave KJ James a "choke" signal (hands around the throat) during a Pacer win, ran down the lane to chase a rebound and 300 lb Heat scrub Dexter Pittman took two steps and drilled him in the throat with an elbow (appropriately).  That's about as hard as you can hit someone on a basketball court...In summary: no way Hansbrough gets suspended, he doesn't deserve it. UD probably gets one game - he deserves it.  I understand he was protecting Dwyane, and Dwyane will absolutely pay UD's fine, but there's no argument to say he shouldn't be suspended.  Pittman has to get multiple games - that's more than fair - but I can't say I didn't enjoy it.  Stephenson went looking for trouble, and he found it.  Crazy how that works sometimes.  Also, note that when the proceedings got especially physical, Danny Granger removed himself for the rest of the game with what he claimed was a sprained ankle.  Actual fighting broke out in this game, not just fake fighting, and Danny Granger was nowhere to be found.  I didn't notice either Granger or West go looking for UD during the rest of the game, and UD was out there quite a bit.  Funny, that.  Going to be tough in Indiana Thursday without UD and Bosh, though...Here's UD's foul:


And Pittman's on Stephenson - notice at the very end of the clip, in the aftermath, Pittman winks at a teammate, I'm guessing Juward Howard (who has had multiple run-ins with Stephenson this season).  I'm sure that's going to go over great at the league office!




3) Shane Battier was great in this game.  Came in 2-19, or something absurd like that, from the floor in the series, and knocked down the first two shots of the game, both triples, to get Miami off quickly.  Made 4-5 on the night and scored 13 points.  Also took David West defensively and held him to a 5-13 for 10 points and 4 rebounds in 32 minutes, even though he is giving up 40 pounds to West.  And, by the way, at least two of those hoops weren't on Battier, they came while he was on the bench.  Just as importantly, the fact he takes West allows KJ to take an easier assignment defensively, and preserve his energy for other tasks.

4) KJ and Wade were both great - let's not lose sight of that.  30 on 12-19 for KJ with 10 rebounds and 8 assists, including one where he caught a bizarre hit-ahead curveball from Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, who bizarrely had 11 rebounds in the game, after Turiaf blocked a Hibbert layup.  Chalmers' pass was sailing into the sideline stands when KJ reached back, cupped it with one hand, then in the same motion blazed a Justin Verlander fastball to a sprinting Dwyane Wade for the dunk (M.Minutos loves it when you mix sports metaphors).  Dwyane pounded the paint - if he hadn't missed 6 free throws, he would have scored more than 28 on 10-17.  Tonight those two got out in transition for buckets, and got in the lane in the halfcourt - when that happens, even without Bosh there, the team can score enough to win.

5) Play of the game: easily, when in the third quarter, with the Heat starting to pull away from the Pacers, the barely ambulatory Mike Miller somehow lost a shoe on a defensive rebound.  As the Heat drove it upcourt, Miller, instead of quickly putting it back on - heck, sit down if you have to and do it quick - tossed it into the crowd.  The Heat didn't take a timeout, and the Pacers came back down the court after a Heat miss.  They immediately cleared out a side so that Leandro Barbosa, who is Miller's primary cover during Miller's minutes in this series, and who has scored approximately every time he's had the ball in space against Mike (Barbosa's too quick), looked at him, and immediately passed the ball back out top to George Hill!  I DIDN'T THINK SO, LEANDRO BARBOSA!  Hill dribbled for about 8 seconds, looked back at Barbosa, like, "what the hell is wrong with you - you're being covered by a guy with a broken back, no thumbs, and one shoe," and tossed it back to him, whereupon Barbosa held it for a few seconds, and then launched up a long three pointer which missed badly and the Heat rebounded.  That's one stop for Mike Mil-lar!  TNT color commentator Steve Kerr, watching the replay, correctly pointed out that Miller should have tried to put the shoe back on instead of throwing into the crowd, but incorrectly mused that "playing in a sock is a recipe for an injury."  For most people, yes.  But as we've seen, Mike Mil-lar is indestructible - he could play in no shoes, on a bed of nails and broken glass, and he wouldn't get injured...Play of the game, runner-up: definitely in the first quarter when Roy Hibbert got fouled while attempting to score.  As Hibbert's first free throw dropped through, play-by-play man Marv Albert advised us that Hibbert shoots 71% from the free throw line. "I would have guessed higher," I told M.Minutos.  "A lot higher.  He really has a nice stroke, it's smooth, he puts a nice backspin on the ball - it's really one of the softer releases I've seen in recent memory, it's like a cotton ball being gently tossed into a bird's nes"--anddddd, clank!!!  One stop for Dos Minutos!

6) One of my favorite things about the NBA playoffs: the commercials. I rarely get to see commercials at any other time during the year – like most people who don’t live in the Midwest, most shows I watch are on disc or dvr’d, and I speed right through the ads. Even basketball games –especially basketball games. Live timeouts at the end of a late-night, West Coast game? Killers. But, generally, M.Minutos and I watch the playoffs live, just for the fun of it. And one of the best parts of doing that is getting to see all the new ads. This year I definitely have a favorite, and it’s a subtle, but powerful, spot: The KFC Fully Maxed meal ad – watch it here:



I love this ad for several reasons. First of all, it looks like a really nice party – they are a group of diverse, well-dressed people, and the weather outside appears lovely. I also love any outdoor party with round tables scattered around the yard as they are in this party – that’s a great party to me, I love to walk around from table to table, hassle a person here, compliment a stranger’s beard there, you know. It is odd that they have a magician at a party with only adults, but maybe it is ironic, maybe the magician isn’t in on the joke. In any case, I like how the magician plays it – he’s aggravated that he’s losing the attention of the people at the party, but he doesn’t blow his top, or anything. He just goes to his homerun trick – levitation – way before he probably intended to. I mean, levitation – that has to be his show-closer, right? But all that pales in comparison to the guy actually eating the chicken. He’s a very handsome man, and, believe me, when you are watching a commercial over and over during the playoffs, that’s not unimportant. Great hair. Probably would be even better-looking with a beard, but, honestly, he’s such a good-looking, all-American guy that I’m not even sure he needs one. Love how he’s dressed: crisp, properly-fitting shirt, un-tucked– in fact, this is how I would try to dress if I were going to this party, which I wouldn’t be, because no one ever invites me to a party this cool. Ultimately, though, it’s his performance that wins me over. He’s enjoying the chicken, obviously - who wouldn’t? He doesn’t mean to be disruptive, he’s clearly not the kind of guy who goes out of his way to take the piss out of an un-ironic adult magician, but he is also self-aware enough to know, at a certain point, that he has disrupted the show. Watch the ad again: check out that sheepish head nod right at the end when they start clapping for him. It says a lot. It says, “Hey, I didn’t mean to disrupt the show, but I gotta tell ya – this chicken is great. Thanks for the applause – I’ll accept it humbly and graciously, because I am a high-level consumer of chicken: I found a great, value-laden, delicious meal, and I went for it. But let’s also give the lion’s share of credit where it’s due: to Kentucky Fried Chicken. They made the chicken, they put the value deal together – I’ll accept this applause, but just know that, in large part, I’m accepting it on KFC’s behalf.” That’s a lot for one nod. How many guys in Hollywood pull off that nod? Gosling – yes, of course, he’d kill this role. I think Pitt could do it. Clooney would probably play it a little broader, bigger smile, maybe some mock-arrogance – it’d be good, but a totally different commercial. Anyways, I told The Captain that I go hire this guy first if I’m ever asked to cast an hour-long, prime-time network drama. “I don’t think that’s likely to happen,” pointed out The Captain. Ah, well…
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Elimination game Thurday night in Indiana - that's a brutally tough game, on the road with no frontcourt players capable of scoring a basket outside of two feet, but I'll guess we'll see what happens.  If you need me before then, I'll be scarfng down Kentucky Fried Chicken like I was, well, like I was a person from Indiana!  By the way, for my free soda?  I'll have a Dr. Pepper, please!
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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Heat 101 Pacers 93 Series tied 2-2

6 Thoughts

1) Sometimes, you get down 8 points at halftime on the road in a playoff game, you're already down 2 games to 1, your only competent big man is injured against a huge team, your second best player is struggling with a bad knee and started 1-8, you've been annihilated in the past two third quarters, and you're ready to let go of the rope.  Just slip down into the dark, icy waters of, ummm, Indianapolis, get blown out, go back to Miami on Tuesday, no show, and start your offseason.  The excuses are there: you really only have three really good NBA players, and one isn't there, and one is hobbling...Then, other times, faced with that same scenario, KJ James and Dwyane Wade score 38 points in a row for your squad, outscore the other team in the second half by themselves (43-39), then the all-time most beloved player in franchise history, Udonis Haslem, left for dead after the past few games, and who hasn't made a jumpshot in, essentially, two years, makes four jumpers in a row in the fourth quarter and you win going away down the stretch.  I guess you never really can tell which one is going to happen!  This is a series again: 2-2 and headed back to Miami!  Let's go!

2) We're going to get to Dwyane and UD in a minute.  But right now, man, let's talk about KJ James.  He was great in the first three games of this series, the only person keeping Miami even reasonably competitive.  And then today, with the Heat in dire straits, he took it to a whole 'nother level: 40 points on only 27 shots; 18 - eighteen - rebounds (6 - six - offensive); 9 assists; 2 steals; and 2 blocks, including a key chasedown block on Leandro Barbosa as the Heat was pulling away.  He played 44 minutes.  No one in the last 25 years of playoff basketball (according to ESPN's Tom Haberstroh) has posted a 40-18-9.  In the last 10 years, only one player - Dwight Howard - has had a 40-18, and he had 1 assist in that game.  Before the game, when you thought about how Miami, this banged up, might claw their way back into the series, you might have said, "Well, if KJ plays virtually the entire game, and dominates in every aspect of basketball on offense and defense, maybe we have a chance."  And that's what he did!  Today's game was one of the best all-around performances I've ever seen a player have - he dominated the scoring; he dominated the glass; he dominated the defensive end.  He played a few possession without a headband when it got knocked off his head (no foul, of course - welcome to KJ's life).  And, after the game, icing his knees in front of his locker, what did the Heat beat writers report that KJ was doing?  Reading The Hunger Games.  Doing!  It!  All!

3) Dwyane Wade is clearly laboring on his knee - if anything, I thought he moved less well today then he did in the first three games of the series.  The difference today?  He moved more.  He got off to a slow 1-8 start again, and the series seemed fairly certain to go Indiana's way.  But then he, and Coach Spo, adjusted.  Miami stopped isolating and posting Wade against Paul George - healthy, yes, that's a total mismatch, Wade is going to go around him over and over, and create offense.  But with his knee limiting him, he has been unable to generate his usual burst.  So, instead, he started running the baseline, off the ball, as KJ went to work out top - KJ hit him on a backdoor baseline cut for his second hoop, and then Wade started to weave in and out of the defense, and KJ continued to find him for easy hoops.  He started the third quarter by making his first 6 shots, the last a triple that put them up 1 with 5 minutes to go, then made back to back drives, including a finish around Roy Hibbert, that propelled Miami to a 6 point lead after three quarters.  When you have Dwyane Wade and KJ James on your team, there aren't a lot of situations in which you are going to be allowed to be considered "gritty."  But this was a gritty performance by Dwyane...

4) ...and an even grittier performance by his running mate and long-time friend UD Haslem (Hubie was in the house! - his main thing this series is to call Pacer forward Louie Amundson, which is pronounced like, "almond-son," without the L, "a-MUND-son," which couldn't be more incorrect! ).  Let's face it: Udonis has been terrible all season long.  We all - me, you, Dwyane, KJ, Coach Spo - we've all defended him whenever we can.  We say, "oh, he defends," we say, "oh, he rebounds," we say, "he's a warrior."  But at a certain point, a guy can do all those things, but he still has to get the ball in the basket when nobody is guarding him - and that exact issue, no one helping KJ and Dwyane score, has been Miami's biggest problem in this series.  After playing a combined 19 minutes in the last two games, which was about 18 minutes and 59 seconds too long, today UD played 25 minutes.  His two free throws with 1:30 to go in the third quarter broke the KJ-Wade 38 point streak.  Then, after starting the fourth quarter by drawing an offensive foul when the aforementioned A-mund-son drilled him in the eye with an elbow (8 postgame stitches), with blood streaming all over his face, he made 4 huge jumpers in a row in the fourth quarter, including 2 under duress with the shot clock down, to put the game away.  Not sure I've ever been happier for a player to knock a few shots down to win a game.  What?  No - that wasn't a tear in my eye after UD won the game, not at all.  It's hot and humid in Florida - that was pure sweat.  Ahhh, UD - love you forever, boy.

5) Let's check in on the studio gangsters, Danny Granger and David West, shall we?  They were a combined 11-26 from the floor, and grabbed 11 rebounds, which is only 7 less than KJ got by himself.  Pretty good.  In the second quarter, Dwyane got wrapped up by Roy Hibbert on a drive.  Hibbert held on a second too long - in fairness, I think he was trying to make sure Dwyane didn't fall (unlike Granger and West, I like Hibbert more than I did before the series - plays hard, but within his limitations, productive, gentleman - good dude).  Wade, aggravated at being grabbed around the arms, and then held, kind of flung Hibbert's hands off him and walked away.  Fine, neither guy had a problem with that, let's shoot the free throws.  Except, you know who did have a big problem with that?  Of course: Studio Gangster Danny Granger!  Granger, who is getting eviscerated by KJ James in this series, obviously sprinted in from the perimeter, ran into Wade's chest, and started jawing at him nose-to-nose.  That totally makes sense.  Why wouldn't you do that?  The look on Dwyane Wade's face was fifty percent boredom, fifty percent, "here's this douchebag again," and he just stood there without responding, which, somehow, made Granger look even stupider.  Even Granger's teammates looked embarrassed for him.  I mean, again, Danny Granger clearly only wants to fake fight - if he wanted to real fight, Dwyane Wade was standing right there in front of him - take a poke at him, Mr. Yappy!  He was interviewed at halftime leaving the court, and his analysis of the incident was "it's getting chippy out there."  ???  Dude - you're the only one getting chippy!  You're the only who keeps getting technical fouls for needlessly getting in peoples' faces every game.  You're the only one involved in every incident.  Look around, dude - you're the lowest common denominator!    This kid is unbelievable - really one of the least likable personalities in the league.  He's always had that rep, but to see it four games in a row (so far) is fascinating.  Must be tough to be a teammate of his.  Oh - check that - one other Pacer didn't look embarrassed.  David West!  He took a first quarter cheap shot shove off the ball at KJ's back, which made KJ whirl around - when he realized who it was, he just laughed.  Also swung a hard elbow after the whistle at Battier in the third quarter during Miami's run, which also made Battier laugh.  Best of all - late in the third quarter and most of the fourth quarter, during Miami's run, the Pacers kept trying to trap Wade and KJ up high on screen-and-rolls.  Luckily, it turns out for Miami that David West has no idea how to trap a screen-and-roll up high - he kept stepping out too slowly, and Dwyane and KJ kept going around him to the outside, getting into the lane, and creating numbers mismatches - it was West who was getting lost on UD's jumpers, because he couldn't contain the ball.   That won the game for Miami.  Can't say I was sorry to see it.  Hard to find two guys less likable on the same team (but not impossible: Kobe and Artest!  Garnett and Rondo!  See, it can be done!).

6) So the Publix (grocery store) near my house is closing and moving across the street sometime in the next month.  It's a small, old store, but it is only about a mile from my house, and I don't have to leave our neighborhood to reach it - it's a quiet, internal road, and easy to walk to, or ride my bike.  So convenient.  It's only moving across one street, like, .25 miles away, but it's a major street, so it's going to be tough to ride a bike there, and even driving will require me to go out into "real" traffic.  For months since we found out about the move, everyone in my neighborhood has been complaining.  We're all like, "ohh - soooo inconvenient, now we have to drive a mile and a quarter instead of a mile - it's going to take foreverrrr!"  We live in South Florida- we aren't exactly tough.  Saturday, though, I got gas in the new Publix plaza across the street, and I drove out past the new Publix, just to see how close it was getting.  You know something?  Ummm, those palm trees out in front of the new building looked kinda nice.  Store looked a lot bigger, too.  And a lot newer.  Parking lot seems a little bigger, and the sidewalk leading into the store wider and safer.  Seemed like more lights in the parking lot, maybe a little easier to see at night.  Really liked the paint job.  And is it me, or did the sun seem a little brighter over there?  And, I'm not completely sure, but I think the air might have smelled a little fresher.  You know what?  I might be, kind of, just a little bit, sort of, looking forward to the new Publix (shhh - don't tell my neighbors).  The moral of this story?  I WILL DEFINITELY THROW ANYTHING, OR ANYONE, UNDER THE BUS IF I THINK IT WILL BENEFIT ME!  The end.
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Well, we have a series again.  We will be back in Miami on Tuesday for Game 5.  Don't know if Dwyane's knees will hold out long enough for us to have a chance in this series - we shall see.  If you need me before then, I'll be clearing out my pantry - anticipating some really nice, new foods at the new Publix - not the stinky, tired crap at my current location.  Bon Appetit!
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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Pacers 94 Heat 75 Pacers lead 2-1

6 Thoughts


1) Well, I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed that.  You could see the blowout coming, you could feel it building ever since the late game meltdown Tuesday night in Miami, but it didn't make it any more enjoyable.  How un-enjoyable was it?  I couldn't even enjoy Mario "Emcee" Chalmers' big-time night.  He kick-started the offense early, and scored a playoff career-high 25 points on 10-15 shooting, had 6 rebounds, 5 assists, and waiiiitttt for it: zero turnovers!  And I couldn't even enjoy it.  Okay - I enjoyed it a little.  But the game as a whole, not so much...Up against it a little now, boy!  Let's go!


2) Micro-problems: Dwyane Wade and shooting.  Dwyane Wade played, maybe, the worst game of his career.  Certainly the worst game of his career when the team really, really needed him to play a good game.  He was 2-13 from the floor for 5 points, and was credited with 5 turnovers, although I can list 6 off the top of my head (I'll spare you).  He also lacked energy defensively - it was an all-around desultory effort.  His "highlight" came halfway through the third quarter when he got into a screaming match with Coach Spo on the Heat bench and players had to step in between them to ease the situation.  I can understand both of their frustration.  He simply has to play better - some people are theorizing he must be dinged up, or have migraines (which he gets from time to time), but he looked to be moving fluidly to me.  Who knows?...The shooting, again, was atrocious: 4-20 from three point land (check this out: that raised their three point percentage for the series!), and 37% overall - and that's with Emcee Chalmers going 10-15.  And, unlike the first two games in this series, they got open shots.  The whole production got out of hand late, but for most of the night, Miami played well, generated open looks...and then fired blanks.  Ballgame.


3) Macro-problems: personnel.  Okay, Chris Bosh is out and, yes, now we can all see the specific ways in which he helps the offense.  He's the best pure mid-range shooter on the team, and he is always the fulcrum around which the offense revolves - have to be honest, not sure that was correct, not sure things revolve around a fulcrum.  Not even sure what a fulcrum is.  But, come on, he's still only the third best player on the team, and other guys simply have to contribute in different ways.  So what's the problem?  One, the primary guy that should be replacing a little bit of what Bosh does and eating those minutes is Udonis Haslem.  Give Spo credit - he's realized he can't put him out there anymore.  Didn't start him tonight, and he only played 7 first half minutes.  Didn't see him in the second half.  He was 0-2 from the floor, both on shots around the rim, and he wasn't particularly sharp defensively.  If he was the old UD, he'd stand in Bosh's spot at the elbow and knock down jumpers.  He's not that guy anymore, and maybe the foot injury he suffered last year and age will prevent him from ever being that guy again.  Since they can't play him, Spo gave Dexter Pittman a whirl - predictably, this is too high a level for him.  He played three minutes, only, and his highlight was probably when he spun baseline to the basket and stuffed himself on the bottom of the rim.  That means Battier should play more - but while his work defensively has been terrific in the series (the two guys he covers, Granger and West, were 11-28), he was 0-6 tonight on 6 wide open three pointers, and 0-7 overall.  So anything he's gaining on the defensive end, he's giving  back offensively.  Turiaf is limited - though he did have 8 rebounds in 17 minutes tonight.  You'd like to play Mike Mil-lar more - he made 2-3 triples in 17 minutes - but, of course, he's completely banged up again.  His back looks gone, and it seems like his hernia and groin are bothering him again - he can't move (speaking of hernias - guaranteed, Bosh is going to end up having hernia surgery in the offseason, right? "strained ab," my booty).  So while we went into this season thinking that the depth would be better, right now we are in the same place we were in last year with Miller severely limited, and UD a non-factor; except now, we've traded Bosh for Battier (and worst of all: NO MIKE BIBBY!).  Grim - it's not enough productive NBA-level two-way players right now.  It's KJ and Dwyane, and sometimes Chalmers.  Wade was bad tonight, and this is what happens.  That's a macro roster problem.  Don't know how it's going to get solved between now and Sunday.


4) Okay, we talked about this before: a lot of this series comes down to Indiana trying to pound Miami inside, primarily with Roy Hibbert, and Miami trying to take advantage of Hibbert's inability to defend pick-and-roll plays.  If you only looked at the numbers, you'd say, "Oh, this went Indiana's way tonight."  Hibbert was fantastic on offense with 19 points and 18 rebounds, 5 of them offensive.  He also blocked 5 shots, an impressive number.  But Miami definitely figured out how to create open shots against Indiana: they put Hibbert in pick-and-rolls over and over, and it worked pretty well.  Miami got down 11-2 early, then Emcee Chalmers scored 4 consecutive baskets by getting a screen, driving at Hibbert who would immediately compensate for his lack of foot speed by sagging, and then Chalmers would make an easy 10 foot runner.  KJ James had 16 in the first half using the exact same strategy.   If Hibbert scored 19, he probably gave up about 30.  In the second half, this strategy finally made Indiana change its defense - they had to leave shooters to come down and help in the lane.  Miami found their guys - and they missed.  Sometimes the game plan is right, the execution is good, and then you shoot like you're trying to drop a ping pong ball into a plastic cup from the top of a ferris wheel.  And around a fulcrum.


5) Indiana deserves to be ahead in this series - they have played their butts off.  It hasn't always been pretty, but they've gotten it done, and if they win at home Sunday, they'll have Miami on the ropes.  I respect the effort.  But David West and Danny Granger are, to borrow a phrase from UD, a pair of studio gangsters.  They have a rep for it anyways, and this series has seen them ratchet it up to a new level.  It's a punk move to go into someone's face in an NBA basketball game, and West and Granger keep doing it over and over.  Tonight West took exception to Emcee Chalmers slapping the ball out of his hands on a possession, shoved Chalmers in the chest, and then went nose-to-nose with him, chirping.  West is probably 6 inches taller and 60 pounds heavier than Chalmers, first of all.  Second of all, Chalmers can't haul off and punch West in the face - he knows he'll get ejected.  And by the way, David West, Chalmers is standing right there in front of you, he didn't back down.  If you really want a piece of him, go ahead and take it.  West didn't take it - he just keeps running the fake tough guy act out there over and over.  Granger, too - he grabbed KJ's jersey from behind on a runout to take a foul, then as he pulled himself by after the whistle, went up high with a forearm across KJ's chest, which KJ responded to by flaring an elbow, like a "get the f off me" elbow - didn't hit him with it, just showed it.  Granger responded by wheeling and going chest-to-chest with KJ, who, as he always does, just shrugged him off.  Again, KJ can't punch him.  Miami can't afford to lose KJ for fighting; Indiana can afford to lose Granger for fighting - and even if they couldn't, it's a ridiculous act.  Not sure I understand the point - what does it mean to get into someone's face like that?  On the plus side, if they happen to win this series, oh my goodness: West and Granger against Garnett and Rondo!  Studio Gangster-off!!!  #Doucheball



6) So, all the time people will say to me, “Ohh, you’re sooo in love with Ryan Gosling, you have a man-crush on him, he’s your favorite actor.” All true – but only to a point. He’s my favorite current actor, out of actors you might conceivably see in a movie these days, true. But he’s not my all-time favorite actor. Who is? Haven’t we covered this before? I thought we had, but at Dos M. Int’l HQs today, The Captain looks over at me at one point and says, “Have you ever heard of the actor David Naughton?” Have I ever heard of the actor David Naughton? Mon Dieu!!! David Naughton is from the same town as me, he’s the all-time West Hartford , Connecticut hero!!! So, you might say, “Who is David Naughton,” and then I would say, “What the hell is wrong with you? He’s only one of the greatest triple-threat entertainers Hollywood has ever seen!” He started off his career in the late 70s showing off his singing, dancing, and acting in the outstanding Dr. Pepper commercial campaign “I’m a Pepper, you’re a Pepper, he’s a Pepper, she’s a Pepper – wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too? Yes!  Yes, I would! Who wouldn’t?  Check it out: 



By the way, I think that song was written by The Beatles - isn't it on the same album as The Taxman?...Anyways, then Naughton went on to star in the excellent film “American Werewolf in London,” directed by the hottest Hollywood director of the time, John Landis (before he killed a dude during the filming of “The Twilight Zone” movie). I was just a kid when the movie came out, but I think it is fair to say that my sleepy little town was abuzz with excitement. My parents took me to see it in the theater, and we hardly ever went to the movie theater, since we didn’t have a theater in my town and we had to drive allll the way back through Hartford to the excitement of East Hartford if we wanted to watch a film. Not sure exactly what year this was, but I am pretty positive that he won the Best Actor award at the Oscars, as far as you know. Probably the best werewolf movie ever – Van Pattinson, or whatever his name is, can’t hold a candle to David Naughton. Probably drinks Orange Crush, too…Personally, I don’t drink a ton of soda, but every once in a while I will kick back with a Dr. Pepper, sip it down slowly, and remember the good old days. And by “remembering the good old days,” I mean that I tell M.Minutos the exact same story, over and over, about how excited I was to go see David Naughton in “American Werewolf in London,” many, many moons ago. She absolutely loves hearing about it!  You would think she would get tired of it, but, no, she never does!!!  Also, she claims that I don’t even like Dr. Pepper – when I told this to The Captain today, he asked me if I really did like it, or if I just drink it to annoy M.Minutos, and I had to admit that, at this point, I honestly don’t even know. “I guess your loyalty stands in the way of your taste buds,” mused The Captain, and you know what? I think he may be right. Anyways, the point is that David Naughton is super-awesome and the best dude ever, just like everyone else from my town. The end. 
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Next game is, of course, Sunday afternoon in Indiana.  If we don't win that game, we are in huge trouble.  It would be a disappointing season to go out in the second round, but at least this blog could go on vacation earlier - this is pretty much the time of year I am so sick of writing it that I pray for the sweet release of elimination!  If you need me before then, I'll be guzzling Dr. Pepper while listening to Revolver.  I'm a Pepper, jackapples!!!
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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Pacers 78 Heat 75 Series tied 1-1

6 Thoughts

1) Man, that ball just wouldn't go in the basket.  For everything that went wrong tonight for Miami -  Bosh's absence, foul trouble, a bizarre stretch of officiating in the fourth quarter, getting behind by double digits two different times - in the waning moments, they still had this game.  The ball just didn't go in the basket.  KJ James missed four free throws in the last few minutes, Dwyane Wade missed a layup under a minute to go, and Mario Chalmers' triple at the buzzer missed, too.  And that's just the tip - the very tip - of the iceberg.  Goodness.   Sometimes basketball is frustrating like that.  Knew I should have gone to the Wilco concert with Thor instead.  Not enthusiastic about it, but we have to do it: let's go... .. .. .

2) Chris Bosh, as everyone now knows, has a pulled abdominal muscle and will almost certainly be out the rest of this series, and even if Miami advances, it's questionable whether he makes it back at all this season (and since I'm having my dad trade him for Pau Gasol in the offseason, we've probably seen Bosh in a Heat uniform for the last time).  This was exactly - exactly - the game in which he helps.  His one superior skill is shooting, and Miami just shot a mind-bogglingly bad 34% from the floor (and 1-16 - that's 6%, by the way - on triples).  They suffered through a 1-13 start to the 3rd quarter to go from 5 up to 7 down.  Further, Indiana tries to run their offense through Roy Hibbert, who absolutely can't guard Bosh - Bosh dropped 13 quick points on him in the quarter and a half he played in game one.  You have to believe Bosh knocks down a couple of shots somewhere in this game, and Miami gets out of here with a win. 

3) Or, maybe his absence actually helped.  I'm not sure Miami can play defense much better - despite the frustration that comes with the inability to knock down shots, they held Indiana to 38% shooting and 3-15 triples.  Joel Anthony was everywhere in his 35 minutes, even though he didn't score a point.  In one second quarter sequence, he flew out to the wing to contest a Danny Granger jumper, which missed, hit the floor in pursuit of the rebound, which Paul George scooped up first, then popped to his feet to grab George's miss.  He hounded Hibbert into a 2-6, 8 point night.  Miami's defense is actually better without Bosh.  The offense is worse; the defense is better.  What is the exact correct ratio?  I don't know - ask Charles Barkley, he knows everything!

4) KJ James and Dwyane Wade - they were heroic, but in the end, each cost the team with easy misses.  With the lane absolutely clogged by Bosh's absence, and the Pacers ignoring Anthony and Haslem, they still hammered their way to 28 points (KJ on 10-22) and 24 points (Dwyane on 8-22).  KJ also had 9 rebounds, 5 assists and 6 steals, but he missed 2 free throws with 53 seconds to go, down a point.  Then, on the next possession, Wade spun around George Hill, got to the rim, and missed a layup.  On a night where "the shooters" - Battier, Chalmers, Miller, and James Jones - were a combined 4-19, James and Wade had to be perfect.  They weren't, not quite, not when it mattered most.  

5) Two bizarre stretches in this game.  One, and I hate to say this, happened at the beginning of third quarter.  Miami went 1-13 to start the quarter, and their primary offensive set was for KJ James to dribble the ball for 18 seconds, then have Udonis Haslem come set a late high screen, then Indiana would instantly trap KJ, and he'd either have to go 1 against 2, or throw the ball to UD.  Either way was a disaster, and they kept running it, and kept running it, and kept running it.  They absolutely would have been better off punting the ball into the crowd and setting the defense.  I bet KJ can punt it super-far!  Without highlighting all the specific problems, I think it says alot that in a game that Chris Bosh was unavailable, Udonis Haslem only played 12 minutes.  He's my favorite basketball player ever; at this point, he shouldn't be on the court in an NBA playoff game.  Not saying it's his fault - it's just the reality of the situation.  He's overmatched...Other bizarre sequence: early in the fourth quarter, the officiating crew, starring Joey Crawford, he of last week's first-person, front-page New York Times memoir all about how he craves anonymity (!), lost control of the game a little.  On an offensive rebound that KJ was camped under, he took an unbelievably hard and cheap shove in the back, sending him into the basket stanchion.  I thought at the time it was Hibbert, but I'm not positive it was him.  In any case, it clearly warranted a flagrant foul, but refs opted to just give a regular foul.  Moments later, Wade went to the rim, thought he got fouled, didn't get a call, ran back down court and planted Pacer point guard Darren Collison in the ground with a shoulder in the back, the exact same foul which KJ had just absorbed, but this one was called a flagrant, much to Miami's delight.  They were both obvious flagrants.  With tension now heightened, KJ posted up Danny Granger, caught a perfect entry pass, and scored as Granger came down hard in his face with an elbow, knocking KJ's headband off his head.  Giving Granger the benefit of the doubt and assuming it wasn't intentional - tough to tell on the replays - it's still a foul, obviously, yet it was no-called.  I mean, a guy layed the ball into the basket as he was getting hit in the face with an elbow - clearly there was probably some contact since his headband came off his head.  That would be your first clue.  Furious at the elbow and the lack of a call, and because he was now headbandless, KJ tried to extricate his headband from Granger's armpit, and Granger got high with his arms again, and they called a double technical foul!  Even worse, for the rest of the game, KJ's headband was messed up - it had two stray stings coming out the top and clinging to KJ's hair.  I ask you: how is that not a foul - he f'd up the dude's headband!!!  Welcome to KJ's life!  He, along with Dwight Howard, are expected to play through hard contact over and over and over, not complain when they don't get calls because they are bigger and stronger, and not confront players who are whacking away at them.  And in this case, KJ didn't react, and still got a technical foul!  Mon Dieu!

6) Alright, I'm over it.  I skipped a Wilco concert to watch this one, it was disappointing - even with everything that happened, Miami still had this game in its grasp.  Now, we will have to go to Indiana, wherever that is, and dig one out on Thursday or Sunday - another Sunday afternoon game, Je-sus crapppp!!!  I'm almost looking forward to getting eliminated so we don't have to play Sunday afternoon games anymore. You know who never plays a Sunday afternoon game?  The Sacramento Kings - that's who I'm rooting for next year.  Anyways, one of the benefits of skipping the Wilco show and staying home for the ballgame was that it was P.Minutos' 8th birthday.  He's a bright and enthusiastic young man.  I got him a pony.  He doesn't ride, I just figured it would be a cool gift. I named him "Mashburn," and it's out in the backyard right now with my dog named "P.J." and the alpaca that I bought at last year's South Florida Fair and named "The Pogo Man."  I guess that's kind of a dumb name for an alpaca.  Oh well.
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Back on Thursday.  Look: either we grind this series out and move on, or I can stop writing this blog and start the rest of my life back up: win-win!  If you need me before then, I'll be working double-time with the pooper-scooper out back. Alpaca mess is nastyyy!
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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Heat 95 Pacers 86 Heat lead 1-0

6 Thoughts

1) Are you up for the grind, or are you not up for the grind?  Because to beat a good team like Indiana in a playoff series, you have to be up for the grind.  There's just no other way to do it, there is no other way to win a series like this.  This was a game in which everything went janky for Miami: KJ and Wade got off to slow starts; Indiana center Roy Hibbert got off early; Chris Bosh got injured (seriously injured - more on that in #3); the Heat shot 40% from the floor; and Mike Mil-lar, Mario Chalmers, and Shane Battioke - the "shooters" combined to go 1-9 from the floor and score 6 points.  Yet, Miami won, pulling away down the stretch for a 1-0 series lead.  How?  I just told you, dude, are you listening at all?  We grounnndddd!!!  Let's Go!

2) Oh, also it helps to have the MVP on your team.  KJ James, awarded his third MVP trophy yesterday (first MVP season in Miami Heat history, and it was a pleasure to watch!), took this game over down the stretch.  He pounded the paint, getting to the line 10 times, and scoring 32 points overall, 16 in the fourth quarter, equalling Indiana's team output for the final period.  He held Indiana's best player, Danny Granger, to 1-10 from the floor.  He grabbed 15 rebounds!  5 assists, 2 steals, a block, and only 1 turnover, even though he played 43 minutes and had the ball virtually the entire time.  Coach Spo told him after 3 quarters: "You simply can not get tired," and he didn't.  He ground the bejeezus out of this game.  M-V-P.

3) Man, oh, man.  As much as everyone likes to bash Chris Bosh - not me, of course, I mean other people - no one wanted to see this.  Late in the second quarter, after a good first half of 13 points and 5 boards in 16 minutes - he was the only guy keeping Miami afloat early - he drove past Indiana center Roy Hibbert and dunked with his left hand as Hibbert's late contest pulled his arm back.  Instantly crumpled to the floor, got up slowly, made his free throw, but then limped back severely on defense, had to come out, and could not return in the second half.  Strained abdominal.  I've never had that injury.  But everyone who ever has had that in the NBA seems to miss a month or more.  That's really bad.  Already a million texts, emails, and tweets asking "Can Miami win a title without Bosh?"  I don't know.  For now?  Just stay on the grind...

4) Bosh is super important in this series, and in every series, because he is the only frontcourt player on Miami who can make an offensive play for himself.  Against a good defensive team like Indiana, that's important, especially because they have a 7'2" behemoth named Roy Hibbert, who had a nice offensive day with 17 points in 29 minutes.  He has a hook shot he plays right over the top of any Heat big man.  But he can't really guard Bosh, who repeatedly took him off the dribble in the first half, including the play on which Hibbert injured him.  Miami's easy counter to Hibbert's size is to play Bosh at center with KJ at the 4 - he can handle any power forward Indiana has defensively, and it forces Hibbert up and away from the lane, since he has to go play Bosh.  In the first half, with UD and Bosh playing together early, Hibbert guarded Haslem, no threat to score at this juncture, and stood in the lane, clogging things up.  But even without Bosh to space Hibbert out in the second half, Miami used this strategy anyways, and put KJ at the nominal 4, where he proceeded to run pick and rolls with either Joel Anthony or Ronny Turiaf - whomever Hibbert was guarding.  There is no way for Hibbert to guard this because he is slow-footed.  Step out aggressively and KJ drives the ball - Hibbert fouled out with 5 minutes to go, but ref Scott Foster fudged a foul call to allow him to stay in the game (gave it to a Pacer who clearly had not fouled on the play).  If Hibbert steps back, KJ shoots an open foul line jumper - he made two in a row early in the fourth to push Miami out to a 6 point lead after trailing most of the game.  Also, Joel and Turiaf stepped up: rolling hard to the basket after the screen they combined for 13 points on 6-8 shooting (would have been more if Turiaf didn't miss all 4 free throws he took).  This was especially open because Indiana didn't help off shooters, and this freed Joel and Turiaf for free runs in the lane.  On the other end, Hibbert couldn't get low position on the blocks: Joel, Turiaf, and even KJ on one possession, fronted him, three-quartered him, and beat him with quickness, while the Heat perimeter defenders jammed the pass in.  On one key late possession, Indiana tried to loop the ball in over the top, but as Hibbert caught it, Battier flew in from behind and stole it out of his hands.  This figures to be a huge key to this series: can Miami take advantage of Hibbert's defensive weaknesses by making him play in space more than Indiana can use his size to their advantage?  Today, down the stretch, Miami won this battle decisively.

5) You know what else is a grind at this time of the year?  NO MORE SUNSPORTS!  Having to watch a game with national announcers is positively brutal.  At least Sunday games are ABC - you get either Jeff Van Gundy, who is knowledgeable and funny, or Hubie Brown, who is harmlessly unconscious.  TNT is a hundred times worse.  TNT's Reggie Miller and Steve Kerr?  Un-listenable.  Today was Hubie and play by play guy the generally inoffensive Mike Tirico.  I tend to tune out the national guys to large degree - they've seen about 1/15 the number of Heat games this season that any fan has, so they can't bring any insight - and I couldn't tell you much of what they said about this game.  But I did hear Tirico, with the seconds winding down on the Heat victory, claim that Indiana "will go right to the hotel and scour the video to see what they can do better."  He's spot on, as long as by "go right to the hotel and scour the video to see what they can do better," he means "go to the rooftop bar at the W Hotel, drink several fruity cocktails, like grapefruit juice and vodka, order about $600 worth of Johnny Rockets burgers delivered to their rooms, then call a fleet of private cars to ferry them over to Liv, where they will congregate in the extra-double V.I.P. section and drink brown liquor late in to the night, then wake about about 2 pm tomorrow, stagger to the pool, and roast in the Miami sun for a few hours while drinking margaritas."  Also, no one has broken down games on "video" since 2002. 

6) Friday evening after work I was standing in line to pay at the grocery store next to Dos Minutos International Headquarters, and the guy right behind me, a bit of a grizzled fellow, had two beers.  Just two beers, not a six pack, or a case, and no food.  When he glanced at me, ummm, sort of absently staring at him, I smiled and said, "Mellow weekend, huh?" and he raised the beers up in salute and goes, "this is just for the drive home."  Touche, Grizzled Dude.
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We are back at it on Tuesday for Game 2.  Also, P.Minutos' birthday.  Boys, let's do it for Bosh, and P.Minutos, who might be the two humans least interested in NBA basketball that I know!!!  If you need me before then, I'll be breaking down Game 1 game tape on my VCR while chain-drinking Plumber and Tonics.  Cheers!
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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Heat 106 Knicks 94 Heat win series 4-1

6 Thoughts

1) Back in the late 90s and early 2000s, when I was a handsome young virile man, ummm, sitting in my apartment watching basketball games with my girlfriend (the future M.Minutos, unfortunately for her), the Heat lost in the playoffs to the Knicks in 14 straight seasons, each series loss in exponentially more excruciating fashion than the previous one.  Back then, I never imagined we'd play the Knicks in a playoff series and it would be like this: easy.  Each of the 4 games the Heat won in the series was a blowout (the Knicks rarely were within single digits after the first quarter tonight).  Even the one game Miami lost, a game in which they played absolutely atrociously, on the road in New York, was still there for the taking.  This series was so easy, it was tough to even build genuine animosity towards the Knicks (even taking my near absolute belief in the essential goodness of Mike Bibby - a solid 10 and 6 tonight - out of the equation).  Except for Tyson Chandler: everybody hates that dude.  Still, even though I didn't hate the Knicks in this series, the reality of the situation is this: you are going to have to suck it, Knicks.  YEAHHHHHH, KNICKS, BALLGAME, SERIES OVER, YOU CAN ALL GO HOME NOW, EXCEPT FOR MIKE BIBBY, WHO CAN STAY IN MY GUEST BEDROOM!  (special note to Tyson Chandler: your "friends," the Dallas Mavericks, for whom you won a title last year before they kicked you to the curb?  They have plennnttttyyyy of free time to hang out with you now and watch the rest of the playoffs on tv!)   Round Two starts Sunday: LETTTSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOO!!!!

2) KJ James dominated this game, and he dominated this series.  Tonight with the Knicks loading up their defense against him whenever possible, he still managed to pound the lane for 15 free throws, and had 7 assists.  He also spent considerable time on Carmelo Anthony, as always, and made things difficult on him, as always, although Carmelo (heroically) spent much of the night making just enough difficult jumpers to keep the Knicks from getting blown out of the building.  Their final stat lines tell the difference between the two players, ultimately.  KJ: 29 points on only 16 shots, 7 assists.  Melo: 35 points on 31 shots, 1 assist.  Melo's big-time, but if you want to know why KJ's just a bit better?  That's 'bout what you need to know.

3) Oh!  Look who is back: the shooters!  After spending a couple of games icyyy cold in NYC, the trio of Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, Mike Mil-lar, and Shane Battioke combined to shoot 9-20 from the floor, including 7-13 on triples, and scored 28 points.  Even on a night when neither KJ nor Dwyane Wade (a spotty 7-19 for 19 points) ever exploded offensively, Miami won easily due to these three dudes making shots.  Any night these three score 28 points, Miami's probably winning.  On the downside, each time Mike Mil-lar came out of the game, he had to go down past the end of the bench and lie down on the floor to ease the pressure on his back.  Uh-oh, here we go...

4) Chris Bosh was pretty terrible.  I know we say this often, but his 19 and 7 was one of the worst and softest 19 and 7s of all-time.  He started each half with a wide open airball - the second was from a distance of 6 feet.  He failed to finish several plays around the basket.  He let up innumerable layups around the rim with unbelievably statue-like, even for him, "contests."  Most incredibly of all, he made KJ James mad.  KJ James never, ever gets mad at a player on the court - I mean, unless you count Chalmers, which I don't, because KJ's constant yelling at him is the same thing every Heat fan does at his television screen.  It's a big part of Chalmers' role on this team - he absorbs the abuse so other guys don't have to - some guys have that personality where they don't even hear it, and he's one of them.  KJ - this is a guy who continues to patiently pass the ball to Joel Anthony over and over, no matter how many times he drops it, and when asked about it calmly reasons, "If I don't pass it to him, he won't ever get better at catching it, and he's my teammate, so I trust him to catch the passes."  You know who doesn't trust Joel to catch the passes?  Everybody else on Earth.  KJ doesn't get mad at players on other teams, even with all the cheap shots and hard fouls he takes going to the rim.  He doesn't even get mad at referees - when he argues, he's almost always right, and he's a pretty polite arguer.  Tonight, ref (and Miami native - UD's high school teammate!) John Gobel, had an atrocious game.  He gave an early technical foul to Landry Fields from 30 feet away, on a half-hearted protest he easily could have ignored.  With 6 minutes to go, he clearly changed an offensive foul he was going to call on Amare Stoudamire to a defensive foul on Dwyane Wade when he realized it would have been Amare's sixth.  A couple of minutes later, with Dwyane Wade trying to post up under the basket, Carmelo Anthony put two arms around Wade and tackled him out of the lane from about 2 feet in front of Gobel.  KJ couldn't enter the ball to Wade, the Heat got a bad shot, and on the ensuing dead ball, KJ politely went to Gobel and made a "wrapping up" motion with his arms - like, "Hey, did you not think that was a foul," which Gobel bizarrely responded to by giving KJ a technical.  But even that didn't make KJ mad, he just shrugged it off.  However, in the opening 5 minutes of the second half, on about 5 of 6 possessions, with the Knicks begging to be blown out, Chris Bosh absolutely failed to contest defensive rebounds in any fashion whatsoever, and the Knicks scrapped out several buckets to somewhat hang in the game.  The final one, right in front of the Heat bench, saw the Knicks get three offensive rebounds in succession: miss-rebound-miss-rebound-miss-score, all while Bosh watched from politely under the basket.  As Coach Spo charged on to the court calling timeout, KJ ripped his mouthpiece out of his mouth, turned around at Bosh and screammmmmed at him!  Then, stormed to the bench (fast even for KJ).  Never really seen him quite that mad on the court before - now he knows how every Heat fan feels watching every Heat game Chris Bosh plays in.  Strangely satisfying that KJ lost it for this reason!  Last year most people thought that Bosh's weak play would be Miami's downfall in the playoffs.  Surprisingly, in the end, it wasn't - it was a couple of bad fourth quarters from KJ which cost Miami the title.  Bosh - for the most part - played well in the post-season.  But, honestly, he's not off to a good start here.  Indiana, Miami's second round opponent, plays big.  C'mon, Chris Bosh - we're going to need a little something...

5) Last game of the year for the Sunsports crew.  Felt good to close out the Knicks with them - and I'm not just saying that because they repped the blog on tv this year.  They were with us during all the brutal losses back in the day.  Well, Tony Fiorentino wasn't - he was an assistant coach on those teams: "Jamal, if you are able to dribble into the lane for an open look on this last play, don't rule out suddenly jamming the ball into Clarence's stomach when he isn't remotely expecting it, okay?"  And Jax wasn't there, either, honestly - he was working at ESPN at the time, I believe.  And Johanna Gomez wasn't there - she was probably in junior high school ("was probably crazy cute even then" -M.Minutos).  I mean, Dr. Jack was there, but he's gone now.  Wait - so it was just Eric Reid?  Yes - it was just Eric Reid.  Ahhh, you know what?  You may say he is predictable - I prefer to call him reliable.  Gang, you have to love Eric Reid.  He's been through it with us, every time.  That's our dude.  Thank you, Sunsports crew, each and every one of you - even the dude who likes to jump-switch to the terrible low-crotch-cam for transition dunks - for another great season, but this year, a special thanks to Eric Reid for always being there for us.  This series win was for you, fella.  See you next year, boys (and JoGo)!

6) So proud of our country today.  Don't look now, but next thing you know American citizens might actually be allowed to park wherever they deem appropriate, as long as you aren't obstructing anyone else's ability to enjoy his own parking situation.  Freedom.
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Round Two starts Sunday - Mother's Day - against the Indiana Pacers and their lying coach Frank Vogel.  Should be a great series!  If you need me before then, I'll reminding my dad, Pat Riley, that Mike Bibby is a free agent next year!  See you on Sunday!
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Sunday, May 6, 2012

Knicks 89 Heat 87 Heat lead 3-1

6 Thoughts

1) When Mike Bibby drilled a huge triple to put the Knicks up 3 with 1:30 to go in this game, I've never received so many angry texts and emails implying that I had something to do with him knocking down that shot.  Listen, I know Mike Bibby is great - I didn't lose him down in the corner, Dwyane Wade did!  I would have been all over Mike Bibby to make sure that didn't happen.  And, another thing, if you are going to blame me for losing this game because I love Mike Bibby, get a grip - if we can't win because Mike Bibby makes one big shot (and two in the whole game), we don't deserve to compete for a title.  I think there were a lot of factors a lot bigger than Mike Bibby's jumper in this loss (but none as slick and satisfying - shhhhhh!)...Let's go, even though we don't want to.

2) Melo and Amare were both great.  Melo poured in 41 on 15-29, and he pounded the paint all night - he ended up with Battier covering him more than KJ, because the Knicks went big late as Miami went small, and that's a better matchup for Melo, which he exploited.  He made a huge contested triple from the top with the shot clock running down and a minute to go, then shot another one from the right wing on which it looked like Battier touched his elbow.  Tough call, but Melo only made one of the three free throws, anyways, which gave Miami a last chance.  Knicks fans are giving Melo crud right now, as in like, "sure, now he does it, when they're down 0-3," but give the kid a break.  He kept your season alive.  Stoudamire, playing with what appeared to be a balloon taped around his left hand after he punched a fire extinguisher in Miami, dropped a 20-10, and biggest of all, successfully warded off Dwyane Wade defensively on the game's last play.  Miami down 2, with 13 seconds to go, ran a screen and roll with Wade and Bosh, got a switch of Stoudamire onto Wade.  Wade took him middle, was going to shoot the little runner, but lost control of the ball.  By the time he got it back, the moment was gone, and he had to veer back outside and launch a bad three that came up short as time expired.  Give Melo and Amare credit - they played very well.

3) You know who didn't play well?  KJ James.  It was clear that he and Dwyane were going to try to pace themselves, hang around, and then try to put on a rush at the end and finish the series.  But when Miami crept ahead by 11 early in the second half, almost in spite of themselves, it seemed like that was the time to go for the kill.  But, instead, KJ continued to play passively, and never really got into attack mode.  After living in the paint in Miami, he was much more passive in New York.  He had an incredible drive-and-finish on Tyson Chandler to cut the lead to 1 under 20 seconds to go, but that play and his numbers (27,4,4) tend to paper over the reality that he wasn't aggressive.  Is it a big deal?  No, it isn't a big deal - but you worry when he plays like this.  It was Miami's downfall against Dallas last year in the Finals.

4) Dwyane Wade was 4-11 from the free throw line.  He played well down the stretch, and I really believed his last three would go in (I always believe all his shots will go in), but when you go 4-11 from the line, that's hurtful.  Miami missed 11 free throws as a team.  That wouldn't be soooo bad, if...

5) ...they also hadn't shot 3-19 from the three point line.  KJ James was 2-5, but everyone else was 1-14.  Mike Mil-lar was 1-5, and the 4 he missed were all wide-open, easy looks...To recap: Melo and Amare, good.  KJ James and Miami's shooting, bad.  None of this will matter if we win Wednesday, it will be a tiny blip on the radar which no one will ever remember, except for me, because I love Mike Bibby.  Also, looking at the bright side: one more game for Eric, Tony, Jax, and, hopefully, Johanna Gomez!  They're done after the first round; second round and beyond is national tv only (some Knick fans might not know that - its been awhile).  We're coming home, Jax!  See you Wednesday!

6) Usually we do something non-basketball related down here in 6, but we ran out of room (and we had nothing anyways).  Been meaning to mention this for several years.  The Heat's pre and post game show host on the radio is named Jonathan Zaslow.  He also hosts a nighttime radio show on one of the local sports stations.  He's solid enough at his job, I guess.  I'm never really listening to the radio when he's on, but on occasion I'll hear him - he kind of does an "angry Heat fan" kind of thing - with the ire projected outward, I mean.  The Heat have never done anything wrong, in his mind.  If you call in and complain about Dwyane Wade's 4-11 from the line, he yells at you.  It's fairly entertaining.  The main place I follow his work, though, and where he excels, is on Twitter (@ZaslowShow).  He's the best tweeter ever, mainly because he makes very little effort to maintain what you would consider appropriate decorum for an employee of two large, professional corporations.  You want to see what I mean?  This is from after today's game:

@J_6D: This series is over, but should we really trust Spo in the finals?  Lots of questionable coaching today.

@ZaslowShow: Just barfed on your tweet.

Haaaa!  Love that kid!
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Well, this is just like last year's first round: had we won on a Sunday in Philly up 3-0 last year, we would have had a whole week off.  Instead, we had to finish them off on Wednesday in Miami.  Same scenario this season.  Oh - I'm not worried about the Heat getting rest; I'm worried about me getting rest!  If you need me before then, I'll be tweeting Zaslow, asking him when he's going to have ESPN analyst, notorious Heat hater, and Zaslow "favorite," Ric Bucher on his show (presumptive answer: "when you stab me in the heart with a butter knife and kill me").  See you then!
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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Heat 87 Knicks 70 Heat lead 3-0

6 Thoughts

1) Ninety seconds.  That's all it took: ninety seconds.  A long, odd day and game which featured Chris Bosh flying from New York to Miami and back in 24 hours to see the birth of his child; the Knicks intentionally slowing the game to a complete crawl; Dwyane Wade and KJ James in absolute sleepwalk-trances in the first half; 7 turnovers for KJ and his fourth foul with seven and a half minutes to go in the third quarter forcing him to sit out that long stretch before the 4th quarter; and combined 1-11 shooting from Mike Mil-lar and Shane Battier in the game - all that, and ninety seconds was all it took to turn it completely around.  After Miami scrapped its way to a 2 point lead after three quarters, KJ re-entered and on the first 3 possessions of the fourth quarter - all of ninety seconds - went triple over the top; drive-and-miss-rebound-miss-rebound-score; triple over the top.  Eight points in ninety seconds to push the lead to 10 - ballgame. Seventeen fourth quarter points for KJ, 32 in all.  Heat lead the series 3-0, with a chance to close it out in New York on Sunday.  Ninety seconds.  Let's go.

2) Man, I love Carmelo Anthony - he is one of my favorite players, and he is the perfect guy to have on the Knicks.  He has New York swagger, New York bravado, and a physical mid-range, "New York-y" game.  Even though he has only been on the Knicks for a little more than one season, it's hard to remember that he was ever anywhere else.  But, man, are the Heat making it tough on him with their defense.  He starts each game with the best defensive wing in basketball, KJ James, up in his shirt, making even receiving short passes to the wing difficult.  Then as Miami's substitutions start, James switches elsewhere, and Shane Battier takes Melo, and continues to wrestle him for every inch of space on the court.  And, really, he is the only offense the Knicks have at this point - if he doesn't a create a shot for himself, or someone else, the Knicks don't get a shot.  They really don't have anyone on the team that can consistently turn the corner and make a good play off the dribble.  Tonight, the Heat added an extra element, playing Joel Anthony down the stretch, who is long and quick enough to get partway across the lane to help on Melo postups, without fully committing and leaving open people elsewhere.  Not only that, but down at the other end, he often has to guard KJ James.  By the fourth quarter of each game in this series, Melo has looked exhausted, and his overall numbers reflect the grind: 3-15 in Game 1; 12-26 in Game 2; 7-23 tonight.  For the Knicks, 32% overall from the floor tonight.  The Heat are beating them up defensively, and that is what is winning this series right now.

3) Sometimes it's just good to be talented.  With Miami down 4 at half (and lucky to be that close), and KJ James in foul trouble early in the third quarter, Dwyane Wade, fairly atrocious to that point, took over, including drilling back-to-back three pointers to take the Heat from a point down to 5 up with 4 minutes to go.  He scored 12 points in the quarter, setting the stage for KJ's burst.  Of all the things you worry about as a Knick player, coach, or fan, Dwyane Wade making back-to-back homeruns against you in a crucial moment is way, wayyy down the list.  But you know what?  That's why he's Dwyane Wade.

4) Sometimes it's just good to have this blog sing your praises as the most reliable big moment three point shooter on the team after the previous game, and then come out the next game and back it up.  After KJ had pushed the lead out to double digits, and with the Knicks desperately clawing to stay in the game, it was Mario "Emcee" Chalmers' back-to-back triples of his own with six minutes to go, both in transition (first off a pass from Wade, second off a pass from James) which stretched the lead to 15, sending the Madison Square Garden crowd streaming to the exits.  Emcee: 19 points on 5-8 triples tonight, 7 rebounds, and 3 steals...Awwww-ful-lyyy quiet in that Garden down the stretch, by the way.   It would have been a perfect time to give the Garden crowd the cupped-hand-to-ear-Hulk-Hogan-I-can't hear-you pose down the stretch - to really do it properly you have to get up off your chair and into a solid crouch.  I mean, if you were going to do it, which M.Minutos and I obviously wouldn't, since it's totally juvenile.  I'm just saying that's how you would do it, if you were going to do it, which we were not.  As far as you know.

5) Play of the Game: there were several candidates.  First, right after the game (still counts), when new father Chris Bosh (Chris Bosh has testosterone?) snuck up behind Dwyane Wade during his postgame interview with the irrepressible Jax, and the Madison Square Garden security guard looked unsure of Bosh's intentions and came within moments of tackling him to the ground.  Second, at the end of the third quarter with the Knicks feeling it slip away, when Mike Bibby scored 5 points in two possessions when Norris Cole cracked him on top of the head while Bibby shot a three, and then got caught on a screen as Bibby made a three.  Love you, Mike Bibby - why is he not starting, by the way?  But the obvious, runaway winner was late in the fourth quarter, with the game decided, and the Knicks offense in full-on Chernobyl-esque meltdown, when sharpshooter Steve Novak caught the ball deep in the corner in front of the Heat bench late in the shot clock, his former college teammate Dwyane Wade closed into his chest, and Mike Miller stood up on the bench directly behind Novak and started screaming in his ear, whereupon the shot clock expired, and Novak heaved the ball skyward for no apparent reason, and then fell into the Heat bench, regained his balance, staggered back onto the floor, then turned around to the Heat bench to say something, and Mike Miller, still standing there, laughed and waived a towel in Novak's face like a Pittsburgh Steelers fan in the 70s waiving those stupid yellow "terrible towels."  Okay, maybe it wasn't a shining example of sportsmanship on Mike Miller's part, I'll grant you that.  But guess what?  Towel gamesmanship is always good!  They didn't show him on the tv, but somewhere in that building, at that exact moment, Mike Bibby was smiling...

6) Hey, fellas, I've got two words for you: night shaving.  That's right, night shaving: shaving at night.  You take a shower before you go to bed, get out, and then give yourself a close shave, and then go to sleep.  In the morning, you don't need to shave when you get up, unless you are a very virile and swarthy man, like Jeremy Piven or Colin Farrell.  This is especially useful when your 9 year old son has just been selected for the safety patrol at his school, and needs to be there a half hour earlier than usual.  Not even sure what safety patrol is - we didn't have that in my school growing up.  We didn't have three things in my little town: safety patrol, McDonald's, and black people.  Now I have two of the three in my own family - sweet!  But I digress.  The point is, you should shave at night.  Not only is it quicker in the morning, but sleeping feels better freshly-shaven.  When I lay my head down at night now, my cheek is smooooth and cooollll on that pillow, boy.  I feel like I'm 19 again, chilled out in bed and dreaming sweet thoughts of Lisa Namp- wait, did I say 19?  I meant 14, and dreaming of Alyssa Temple, of course!  When I was 19, obviously, by then I could grow a very rugged face full of sexy stubble - I was absolutely not a smooth-cheeked nerd in college, I was a dark and mysterious masculine predator.  Ha, what a faux pas on my part, can't believe I made that error!  Night shaving, gang: give it a try!
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Game 4 is Sunday - time to try to close it out quick.  Nothing on earth worse than a Sunday afternoon game, though.  Again - places where there is absolutely nothing to do like Dallas and Memphis should have the Sunday afternoon games.  Miami should have Monday evening games, only.  If you need me before then, I'll be lathering up, chickenheads!
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